17-11-2019 03:57 PM
Me too @Appleblossom
Only the To-Do-List is not done, because I keep collapsing with exhaustion...
17-11-2019 04:28 PM
I developed a style of rewriting to do lists ... on the bench ... half a page ... there was always flow on ... lots of things got done ... houses renovated .... children raised ... I collapsed with exhaustion a lot of the time over 30 years. I am only just beginning to find my bounce again.
Wish people were more tolerant in my sphere ....it is what it is. Got me being cranky about people caring more about clean houses than the lives of family. Your story helps ground me with a few less extremes than we endured and a lot of similar values.
@Determined Those big and little darlings will grow ...
17-11-2019 04:43 PM
@Appleblossom, In total honesty, not all friends are as tolerant. And the biggest problem our clutter causes is that it stops our daughter from inviting friends over. Except for a couple of them who are so long term that they're virtually family anyway.
We keep thinking of the idea of "using" our more tolerant friends as a deliberate spur to do some tidy up work. Invite one or two for a certain day, and aim to reclaim a certain amount of our chaos in that time... I would love to have people over for cuppas or meals or whatever more often, but the "urgent" keeps getting in the way of the "important".
Middle of next year, we will have been living here for 20 years. Because we'd moved a long way from our previous places of residence, and moved in the middle of winter (discovering on arrival that the only built in heater in the house had died ), we never had a house warming party. It would be lovely to have a house-anniversary celebration instead, all these years later, but oooh there's a lot to do before the place is fit for a crowd. Hoping, hoping we can do it.
17-11-2019 08:22 PM
@Smc we were 18 years in our last house.
Darling is much more relaxed about visitors in our new house after getting rid of a lot of clutter.
There is still so much more left to go. I like @Darcy s idea of 1 item in 2 out.
Kitchen is my biggest bug bear. A lot sentimental stuff (on my part)
Have to say though recently I have had a brain snap of sorts and Keen to throw stuff out. Too bad it happened while darling was away. Waiting until she returns for some balance.
Children's bedrooms is the next big bear and my study space. I can see some trips to the dump upcoming in the next couple of weeks.
17-11-2019 08:24 PM
@Smc you can do it, have a party with a dirty house. your true friends and family don't give a poo what your house looks like, they're there because they love you. not because how clean your house is
17-11-2019 09:16 PM
They will. I saw a bub same age as my grandson at the hair dresser. First visit for hair in couple years.
I know what you mean in theory, but the world does not seem that tolerant. I was renovating during first 10 years of small children. I thought my family would understand and see beyond bad wallpaper and carpet and patches on walls and oddly matched furniture. I always kept it approximately clean and tidy except when there was a big "sanding event" or some such ... but love and respect was not there. Maybe it worx for others but not for me. Life was so hard it somehow drained everyone.
@Smc Maybe it comes with the territory of being an artist. I prefer people's homes not to be too tidy and I say it these days. What are they trying to prove? I'd love to come for a virtual cuppa and you would be most welcome here.
I am actually moving on my clutter in my bedroom. It has been there slowly accumulating for about 5 years. One silly psychologist tried to get me to 5 mins a day. I knew that was not what was needed. As things have "been finding" their right spot in the house effortlessly atm. (All I do is move them.) It seems the time is right. I was afraid I would throw out things I wanted to use or keep and then regret it.
Place always clean and tidy enough to pass with kids and parents coming through for lessons with Cat fur bonus.
Clean enough for hygeine and messy enough for children's creativity.
17-11-2019 09:44 PM
@octavia, @Appleblossom... no matter how tolerant friends are, unless we do some declutter, we haven't got the space for a party crowd.
I was working on getting a small business as a potter off the ground until our Older Daughter's mental health went into a downward spiral. The room that would be the best spot for a celebration was where I'd set up a workspace. It's also where things got moved to when most of our house got flooded. That also happened not long before things crashed. So the room has walkways from one door to another. Not standing space, let alone seating space.
The pottery area in particular wasn't packed up. I kept hoping for ages that I would be getting back to it "sometime soon", but Older Daughter kept getting worse, not better. So effectively it's an abandoned space. I can't see myself being able to restart in the foreseeable future, so what I want and need to do with that is pack it all away in an orderly manner. So that whenever some form of normal life returns, I can re-approach my work with a "fresh start" position.
The only other living area in the house is smaller, and at present is serving as both dining and kitchen area. It's good for family dinners at Christmas and Easter, but not for a bigger crowd. I think we've had maybe a dozen people in there once, but at that stage it wasn't doubling as kitchen.
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