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Looking after ourselves

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

lol @Faith-and-Hope  so far I have ignored it.

Wait and see of it is raised again. I'm not sure about beat intentions. More she thinks I am lazy and should be earning more money. One of those lack of insight moments .  And we are quite fortunate financially... just not as fortunate as we were before I lost my job. 

 

I have not let on yet that I am going to withdraw from the away class as I dont have the energy to explain why just now. 

 

I had considered not saying anything and just going for a long ride for the day but that is not in my nature so would not work. Relationships need to be built on trust and I need to set that example. 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined, I get what you mean. And it doesn't help that it feels like giving ground in part of your life where you want to be making progress.

 

And if you take on another job, limit it to positions like "Relaxation Therapy Training School "Guinea Pig"". Y'know, sit back and let the students practice their assorted techniques on you...

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

The long ride out of town for this particular class was part of my self care activities for this semester (3 - 4 hours round trip each Friday).   I can't justify that amount of time on the bike just for me to get out. I shouldn't but it would make me feel guilty. That is why the required travel didnt realy bother me and at 30+ km / l in fuel the cost was minimal. 

People will be thinking that the travel was too much for me is why I quit... far from it I have looked forward to it each week even when it was raining. 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

There is an alternative to drop out later without penalty (financial or academic) but that is not guaranteed and requires doctors visits and certificates and explaining and ... ... my head hurts just thinking about it. 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Sorry to be having a whine Smiley Sad

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

😞

I'd be recommending you find some way of keeping up the rides anyway.

Just a thought- are any of your sons of the age and disposition where a ride with Dad could double as good parenting and recovery time for you?

 

My Dad used to drive me across to music lessons in a neighbouring town twice a week, and sat in the car for the hour most of the time. I realised years later that it doubled as his time out with a good book. 🙂 And with Mum's moods being somewhat BPD-style unpredictible at times, that may have been very important for him.

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

(And I don't think anyone will be offended at your "whine"... or offload... or de-stress... call it whatever.)

 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

'Just a thought- are any of your sons of the age and disposition where a ride with Dad could double as good parenting and recovery time for you?'

 

Unfortuanlty I am on a restricted licence for the next 12 months @Smc  so cant have pillions until this time next year. S1 is bursting at the seams to be able to ride with me, particually for school drop off/ pick up. S2 not so much. S3 wont go near the bike at all lol. dont know why but he really doesnt like it.  

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had forgotten about the new rider restricctions. Hmm, plan B, could you make a regular weekly "outing" with your Mum? Doubling as "caring son"...

 

I'm heading to bed. Hope you sleep OK tonight @Determined .

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks @Smc , I should do likewise. Trust you get a restful sleep also. 

 

Thinking of hitting mum up for a weekly ride. I have a few loops in mind of 2-3 hours duration. 

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