25-12-2017 07:24 PM
Hi everyone, it is such a relief to have found this website, to shed light on my role as a carer. I met my husband 9 yrs ago, he struggles with alcohol and recreational drugs. Over the years, between bouts of sobriety, I noticed mental health issues. Some of the experiences I've endured have been extremely challenging to say the least. He has physical health issues that go unchecked, self-medicating and control issues. Every day is a challenge to understand his perception of reality. Two years ago in July, I had enough and was beyond burnt out dealing with his rollercoaster of thoughts. I told him, I had enough and want to legally separate. He is also disorganized, impulsive hoarder and doesn't clean up after himself. We do not have any children together. Finally after going through hell time and time again, he agrees to go seek outpatient counseling for addiction. The weaning off alcohol during counseling seemed to take forever. What I found out was that by choice and on his terms, he would only make the time one hour per month. The goal was to reduce his self medication to an acceptable level, in order to uncover the real issues. 8 months later, he finally got a referral to a mental health /addiction outpatient Dr. He has been diagnosed with addiction (on a scale of 1-10), he's an 8, anxiety, panic and depression. He is prescribed medication for the alcohol and medication for the anxiety, panic and depression. There was a problem with the medication , it wasn't working and it was discovered by me that the pharmacist was giving him a generic brand. I called the pharmacist and asked them if they knew what it was like to live in my situation and why did they think they could take liberties on alternatives other than what the Dr. specifically prescribed. Combined with that, my husband was testing the medication, by drinking to build up a tolerance while taking the medication.
There's so much I can share and I will continue another day. Thank you for being a Sane site to go to,
26-12-2017 10:13 AM
lola here, one of the moderators.
Welcome to the Forums. You have shown a lot of strength in coming to the forums and seeking help.
Here you will find a lot of wisdom, experience and kindness that may help you at this difficult time. It is important to connect with others which help will help you to make sense of what you are feeling. I am sure you will get replies soon from other members.
26-12-2017 11:21 AM
26-12-2017 05:24 PM
26-12-2017 06:01 PM
27-12-2017 04:23 PM
Thankyou for sharing @balanceseeker, your situation sounds extremely difficult. I don't know that I can offer any suggestions but all I can say is that in my situation I have mental health issues, I work full time but have been my husband's carer for 15 years or so. He has multiple medical issues-two of which there's no cure for-but he takes on board whatever advice, medication that he thinks is best and disregards the rest, never mind that his gp and specialists are experts in their fields, he is of the opinion that he knows better than anyone. He has no respect for me so ignores anything I might say about his health or treatments, yet I make sure he is medicated correctly but he refuses to even acknowledge that I care for him...not that I expect thanks, just saying...but that's not much help to you, is it?
Welcome to the forums, sometimes it's just knowing that other people are or have been in caring roles and are, or have been, finding the going tough. I find the people on the forums very supportive. Please continue to post, even just to vent, sometimes I'm not in a sharing mood so I'll just browse, but we do care.
28-12-2017 12:35 AM
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now
For mental health information, guidance and referrals, see the SANE Help Centre
SANE Forums is published by SANE Australia with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health
SANE Australia ABN 92006533606
PO Box 226 South Melbourne 3205 Australia