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Casual Contributor

Confused, helpless and now pregnant

Hi, I’m blue and this is a bit of a long story I’ll try to summarise but if you do read it I appreciate your time. 

I met this guy 2 years ago while he was visiting my city for a week. He then left for an overseas holiday for 2 years and was coming back so he started messaging me again in May this year. He came back in August and we met up again and had sex which was a mutual decision. He then left again for another holiday however this time he blocked me on social media without explanation. A few weeks later I find out he was in a relationship this whole time but he never told me. I message his girlfriend telling her he had slept with me merely a month ago and she said he told her he cheated and she told him to block me on everything (which is fair). 


But now I’ve missed my period and I’ve taken a pregnancy test and it came back positive. It was protected sex however there were moments of contact when the condom came off. I messaged her again because I have no way of contacting him and she’s very upset however she does not want any part of this situation. I have no way of contacting him so I really don’t know what to do... I don’t want to be pregnant especially with his baby but I can’t afford an abortion let alone the expenses of having a baby. What do I do? I really am feeling helpless. 


Re: Confused, helpless and now pregnant

hi @blue068
I don't have any experience in what your managing but it is definently tough.
Perhaps a good place to start would be having a chat with your gp about whats happened and get some help to work through what your options may be.
I do hope others will join in who have some more experience in whats happening for you, until then im more then happy to support you during this tough time.

Please also join in to other threads that you feel comfortable with if you are up for that. a forum tip is to put an @ before a members name just as ive done for you so it tags them and they will receive a notification

Re: Confused, helpless and now pregnant

@blue068  Hi blue068 and welcome to the forum. I have had 2 abortions in my youth and they are nothing to be afraid of in my experience. I don't know how much they cost now but I would be heading down to your trusted gp asap (you dont want to leave this too late).


I wouuldnt be bothered about trying to get the other party to chip in as that is more time wasted and more stress for you. It wouldnt surprise me if abortion clinics help women who are in financial crises - something to enquire about.


Good luck and I hope it all goes well for you and yes the last study on bring up a child the cost is $300,000.00. You dont want to go down that route if you are having trouble affording a abortion imho.pea

Re: Confused, helpless and now pregnant

Hi @blue068 definitely see your gp asap. There are people and services available to help you. Sending you hugs 🌻

Re: Confused, helpless and now pregnant

Hi @blue068 and welcome. That sounds like such a tough situation to be in. It would be so hard to want to contact the other person involved in this and not be able to.

Is the decision something you are struggling to make? I've had unplanned pregnancies and found each one was a very big and very hard time. I didn't know what to do both as far as making a decision and accessing abortion. Seeing a GP is a good place to start. They can help you access pregnancy options counselling (If that's something you'd like) and support you with finding services for whatever decision you make.

I've continued two unplanned pregnancies and had an abortion with one. My abortion was as a medication abortion (medication taken at home). The prescription cost me the same as any other prescription with a health care card. I was also given the option of having a surgical abortion in a public hospital. Where I am the hospital provide limited free surgical abortions depending on your situation. A gp will know what options you might have depending on a number of factors.

Do you have any family or friends who can support you through this time?

Keep posting here if it helps. It definitely helped me to be able to talk about what was going and have it be met with understanding and empathy (something there's a lot of here).

Re: Confused, helpless and now pregnant

@outlander thank you for your reply and the tips. I have an appointment with my gp tomorrow to discuss everything. Also thank you for the support it means a lot to me 

Re: Confused, helpless and now pregnant

@greenpea thanks so much for your reply. It is honestly not worth the stress trying to get in contact with him as now his girlfriend has blocked me too. It’s just baffling to me how someone can be so cold especially when I am pregnant with his child. But I have an appointment with my gp tomorrow to discuss an abortion. Thank you for sharing your story a bit also 

Re: Confused, helpless and now pregnant

@Molliex thank you so much I will be doing this tomorrow x 

Re: Confused, helpless and now pregnant

@CheerBear thank you for sharing your story it certainly helps reading someone has been through similar things. I don’t have any family but I’ve reached out to my friends and they’ve helped me decide an abortion is the best thing to do because of the situation. I keep things to myself a lot so it’s hard to reach out to them which is why I posted here. I have an appointment tomorrow with my gp to discuss everything. Thanks again x

Re: Confused, helpless and now pregnant

Good luck for tomorrow @blue068 i hope your gp is helpful and supportive. It sounds like you have some good friends to be able to chat to them too. Will be thinking of you tomorrow

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