17-11-2019 03:26 PM
I figured. @outlander
Not much I can say, but send good virtual vibes.
Maybe it will be better if you do not have too much responsibility for others. It is hard moving from caring roles, when one's identity is shaped that way.
18-11-2019 12:43 AM
@Appleblossom I’m not sure what “ reimagining “ means, sorry. I looked it up but seems strange, or to me in the context of the conversation.
18-11-2019 01:52 PM
Ooooh maybe its just that for a long time things looked very bleak. I did not think I would be able to think of anything that would make all the pain worthwhile, but eventually I began to see and find ways to live and get some positive pleasure. So in that sense my old imagination has opened up. I am still same core person and nothing diminishes the tragedies but I find I can feel moments of joy and am able to laugh.
At times I can get het up in my hurt and anger.
The laughing thing is key. I only remember laughing a couple of times as a child when my grandfather was deliberately being silly. Then later my 2 biological children were trying to cheer me up. Too much pain at the time so my laughter may have been forced, but I have to treasure those memories.
Hugs @Maggie Hope your new home offers new simple pleasure.
18-11-2019 02:04 PM
Hi @Appleblossom . I’ve just caught up. I may be wrong but I think I am in a similar place with letting go. One of the ones that live with me told me yesterday that he wants to move out on his own and rent a tiny apartment. I can’t say that didn’t hurt. I understand his choice but it still hurt. I am getting closer and closer to that living alone time. They are all flying the coop now.
I think like you I look to next year to do some things for me and find me beyond a mum. The last time I tried that was in 2011 when I went to uni and that ended in disaster.
I am looking with eyes open for now but until the financial and property settlement stresses are over I’m notable to do much. For now I’ll ride this year out and maybe start some new things when the new year starts up again.
Sending hugs and support for all the hard tricky, hurtful times. Sending hugs for the moments that bring you joy as well and all in between. 💜🤗💜🤗💜🤗
21-11-2019 12:12 PM
Eyes Wide Open
is a good way to be, but sadly took me a long long time to get to ...
lol ...and they still dont work proper like.
Hope your mum life is trravelling well and the other non mum part.
Back on hypertension meds today as blood pressure up too high for one thinking that they were calm ... says my new gp ... and I am being sensible and following advice ... but somehow I knew I was going to be tweaking those meds for a long time. Too much pressure on me for too long.
Enjoying pics that my wonky eyes can manage to see.
Just in, sweating, from rescuing new plant blown over in the hot wind.