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House mate has BPD


A friend in his mid 20s has been living with me for six months while he studies at a nearby university. He confided in me before he moved in that he has BPD. He's on medication. He tells me he doesn't see any healthcare professionals because of the high cost and the low success rate. 

He says he is more comfortable than he's been before, but can't describe himself as happy. I can see that he struggles with his "demons". He doesn't appear to be a threat to himself or anyone else. He's a great guy and I would like him to be happy which he clearly isn't.

Is there anything I can do to help him? Is it best to leave him to his thoughts or should I talk to him about what he's thinking? If I should talk to him, what should I say?

Advice will be gratefully received.

Thanks, BrissyGuy.


Re: House mate has BPD

Hi @BrissyGuy

What a great friend you are.


There's a great Topic Tuesday discussion we had last month about BPD, you can find it here

Your friend may already know about this, but if you go to a GP you can get a Mental Health plan, which entitles you to 10 sessions with a psychologist which is covered by medicare.


I'm assuming because he is on medication and has a diagnosis he's been to a professional before. Perhaps you could talk to him about how that went (maybe he had a bad experience?).




Re: House mate has BPD

Welcome to the Forums @BrissyGuySmiley Happy

My first thought echoes @NikNik's exactly: you are clearly a wonderful friend for wanting to support your housemate to feel happy, and for being proactive in looking for ideas about how you can help him. It also says a lot about your friendship that he trusts you enough to confide in you.

How to talk to him about what he's going through and what to say are good things to reflect on. Have you considered asking him about this? I.e. how you could be most helpful to him, if and when he would like to discuss his experiences with BPD etc.? Speaking to him directly about these things may offer you both the opportunity to decide together how you could best support him.

I'm curious about others' thoughts on this, both from the perspective of someone experiencing BPD themselves, or a family member/friend. @Crazy_Bug_Lady@Raven@Kate70@razamataz or @Kiera80, do any of you have any advice for @BrissyGuy?

Not applicable

Re: House mate has BPD

Hi @BrissyGuy!,


Thanks again for your contribution to the forum. It really sounds like you are a great friend / housemate.

Sometime the best person to advise about BPD is someone who has lived experience or a carer or friend.

There are a couple of organizations that might be of interest to you: Spectrum in Victoria and the BPD Foundation. Spectrum is the statewide service for treatment of BPD in Victoria and the Australian BPD Foundation is a consumer / carer organization for people diagnosed with BPD, their carers and friends.

Spectrum is or click here.

BPD Foundation is or click here.

Either of those organizations might be of interest to you and may be able to connect you with people with lived experience of BPD, or carers or friends.

Good Luck and let us know how you get on.




Re: House mate has BPD

Hi @BrissyGuy,

How are you ? Looks like your one of those 'shrinking few,' people who cares enough about someone living with times of mental ill health.

I am married to someone who is diagnosed at 19 so my advice comes from someone who may know ..... A little ....
I'm learning every day.

So my advice is
things I've done wrong and learnt from.

Not speak about his diagnosis. If one of your friends see something out of familiar
Like ..... He might be very rattled over something : he has the freedom to tell them.
It's humiliating enough for himself. And it's his story.
I feel that this just small space you give him will let his confidence grow hugely

And it's amazing that you care enough

Do you feel that he could hop on Sane Forums ?
Another interesting little nugget is this really relaxing radio station that my husband listens to every night and ..... Seems to allow him to really relax.
It's Sydney.... Hosted by Cameron Daddo. We wrote to him .....He wrote back
It may also assist your friend ......and really gave my husband a huge kick of confidence that our message to Cameron was answered.

For urgent assistance, call: