Lived Experience Forum

[Arizona]

I'm not looking after myself and I don't know why. I'm stuck in a negative space. I feel repressed, blocked, held back. I feel like I can't be myself and I don't know why. I feel troubled (distressed and anxious) and sad.

Today I'm grateful for...

Bessel Van Der Kolk and his book The Body Keeps the Score.

A cup of tea with honey.

That's all. I'm not going to force myself to be grateful. I will only write things I'm genuinely grateful for.

[greenpea]

@Arizona  Hi Arizona. Hoping you are feeling better soon. Love peaxxx

My music helps me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_siJRgDlddY&list=RDGMEMSEvw8hQsBZkGYx3gT2QBwg&index=4

[Arizona]

Thank you pea for sharing your music with me. Maybe I will listen to some music.

@greenpea ❤

[Arizona]

I watched another mountain bike movie called Life Cycles. It was okay. There wasn't enough downhill riding or stunts for my liking. 

I'm listening to an audio book now by Thich Nhat Hanh. It's called The Art of Mindful Living and it is narrated by Thich Nhat Hanh himself. The audio quality is very good. With many of his audio books where he is narrating the audio quality is bad. But this is nice and clear. I find it very calming listening to his voice.

https://youtu.be/dDXcIaUKHDU

[Arizona]

I just spoke with my therapist. I must remember to write down the things that I want to talk about with her. Usually I have a head full of things that I want to talk about with her but today my mind was blank.

We haven't spoken for a while because she was late calling me and each time she called I was asleep. I was a bit annoyed actually because I had set my alarm to speak with her and both times I had fallen into this blissful sleep. I have been finding it hard to sleep lately. I fall asleep but then I wake up and can't get back to sleep. 

I won't be able to do anything today. I'm grateful that I have enough water and cups of tea and I don't have to see anybody. I'm going to have a cup of tea now. 

[MDT]

Hey @Arizona
I have seen you about on the forums here and you even wished me a happy birthday last week
Its upsetting to see you down but I know how you feel.
Having a rough time of it here too.
I feel troubled and sad too

[MDT]

Just read you wat he'd a film about mountain biking @Arizona

Is this a hobby of yours?

[Arizona]

Hi @MDT 

I'm sorry you're not in a good space either.

Yes, mountain biking is a hobby of mine but I have been without a bike for a while (it's a long story). Basically I haven't been able to get my bike because of the lockdown.

I have been watching mountain bike movies to keep myself inspired. Here is a short clip from one of the films I watched. 

https://youtu.be/bs8mqwudi7M

[Arizona]

@MDT 

By the way, I can't ride anything like that.

Just in case you were wondering 😆

[StuF]

@Arizona 

I've not watched much mountain biking, but that right there is awesome! Just the right mix of bravery and crazy 🙂