Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

i feel when i come on here to chat and support others that i don't know what to write 

because others write really well

i don't

why is it like that, my education or lack of

my family life

my not understnding words

i'm stupid therefore don't understand

i get too scared, embarrassed ashamed to ask 'can yhou pls repeat what you said'

or i get to scared to ask someone to write it in simpler words

i must be so stupid that i can't understnand

is it my mental health

no it's probably me

maybe ive got no brains

maybe i am jusst not worth anything

@Shaz51 @oceangirl @BPDSurvivor @HenryX @Emelia8 @Eve7 @MDT  and others who want to read my stupid post

[periwinklepixie]

I'm sorry you feel that way @BlueBay 

For what it's worth, I think intelligence means many different things and you have always come across as very insightful to me.

I often need things written in plain language. This can make me feel bad sometimes so I get where you are coming from. But I once heard someone say 'clearness is kindness' and it really stayed with me.  I'm sure if you are having these troubles so are others. 🙂 

Thanks so much for speaking up about it. Communicating our needs can be hard. 
- periwinklepixie

[Sophia1]

hello bluebay

@BlueBay 

Sometimes when I log in I find a post that has just been written and it tugs at my heart strings..

sometimes I respond..

I then can find the person does not fully understand me..

This is what I am reading that you are saying...

Are you there now at the moment?

More importantly would you feel comfortable talking to me?

Sophia 1

[BlueBay]

I'm here @Sophia1 

I feel that for a very long time I don't grasp things that people write and have noticed it more on here because it's a forum where everyone writes.

At school i was always scared to put my hand up to ask the teacher to explain it again for fear of being judged, laughed at and riducled

and now here it is haunting me 

so i feel ashamed so that's why i don't say much because i am lost for words

thats me - i am stupid

[Sophia1]

---

@BlueBay wrote:

I'm here @Sophia1 

I feel that for a very long time I don't grasp things that people write and have noticed it more on here because it's a forum where everyone writes.

At school i was always scared to put my hand up to ask the teacher to explain it again for fear of being judged, laughed at and riducled

and now here it is haunting me 

so i feel ashamed so that's why i don't say much because i am lost for words

thats me - i am stupid

---

Hello @BlueBay 

Thank you so much in feeling comfortable enough to respond to me.

I see that as a compliment, that you feel safe enough to do so..

It works the same way with you.

I feel comfortable and safe in talking to you. That is a compliment to who you  are as a person...how you come across to me on the forums.

It is not about the words that you use.

It is the message that I read in between.

I feel very comfortable with you.

I do not feel that you are stupid at all..

I feel that you actually think about things and this is a sign of intelligence.

[BlueBay]

I don't see myself as intelligent at all

I see myself lower than everybody else

what have i done in my life - not a lot

what can i do right now - nothing

can't work, can't read a book,, can't answer questions about things when asked

how the hell am i meant to live like this so stupid  😞   😞

@Sophia1 

[Shaz51]

Ohh my sister @BlueBay ❤

you write better than me , I find it hard to write down what is going on in my head 

It takes me a while  to write and sometimes I feel like I say the wrong things 

Keep going my sister xoxo,  you are doing great xx 

[Sophia1]

Hello @BlueBay 

Hello @Shaz51 

Shall we all talk about this , the three of us, are you feeling comfortable to do that with me?

Only if you want to.

sophia

[BlueBay]

yeah ok but it won't change how i feel @Sophia1 @Shaz51 

i just feel useless hopeless etc etc 

[Sophia1]

@BlueBay 

you sound as though you are feeling very flat and perhaps fed up with everything.

Is is something like that?