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Dean
Casual Contributor

Living with Anxiety

Hello forum! I'm a 22 year old who suffers from anxiety, depression and maybe other things...I wont get fully depth into what May have caused these things, I'm not exactly sure...so I was diagnosed with depression a while I ago, ( years) and anxiety is something that if struggled with in my mid-teens. I have always been the constant worrier, being a pretty big hypochondriac at a young at young age, and anxiety struck me when I was 15. It literally started out of nowhere! Anyway I will get to what I've been really struggling with at the moment...
My brain has always been wired in a weird way. I would hold on to things, and make thoughts stick, and be constantly obsessing over my thoughts. So I've been struggling with intrusive thoughts, and these particular thoughts are curse words. I don't want to be really explicit on these forums, but these words are towards people and they are Also thoughts Of judgement. So I have been constantly trying to battle these thoughts Because I feel that when I have this thought I feel life the worst sort of person. I feel like these thoughts are coming from the Heart, and I feel I really bad when I have these thoughts..I can't tell is it just my head of do I really feel that way about someone!!!! Arghh it gets me really I stressed out and agitated towards customers which I makes me feel more justly when I have that thought!!

But it has recently gotten a bit better as I've spoken to a lot of people and have decided to just let that thought through, not battling it or just making the effort to not think that way and when I do I beat myself up....I have decided to let that thought through..try my best not to let that thought power over me...it's hard, but I feel like I've made slow progress.....I will defiantly be posting more things on thinks forum... God bless.

2 REPLIES 2

Re: Living with Anxiety

Thanks for sharing your story Dean. It is very familiar the old battle with thoughts, and turning off the struggle around them is really helpful. Sounds as though you are working on accepting and observing your thoughts, without reacting to their content. Great work..hard work but worth it for sure..a history of hyperchondria predates my anxiety and panic attacks too...has gotten better and it does pass with time.....

Re: Living with Anxiety

Hi Dean

Thank you for being so open and sharing a bit about yourself. It's great that you have a handle on what is happening with your own mental health. At your age I knew something was wrong but had no idea what, so it's fantastic that at your age you have the opportunity so much earlier than my generation did to accept and work on your lived experience with your own mental health concerns.

You mention your anxiety, depression and intrusive thoughts, you are not alone there as those three lil words like to hang out with each other and become great friends. I think you are on the right track by just letting the thoughts happen without challenging or trying to control them, this easier said than done but it does become easier with practice and some professional guidance in my experience.

Your comment that your brain has been wired in a weird way made me smile..........that's how I see/feel that mine is too. I try to embrace this difference I feel and think of it as a gift rather than a curse.

I look forward to reading more of your posts on the Lived Experiences Forum.

 

Cheers

Harry

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