Lived Experience Forum

[MoonGal]

I am really saddened by the loss of David Bowie and Alan Rickman - both 69 years old. In various ways both these extraordinary men played a huge part in my life. Their deaths have raised a deep sadness in me - and a reflective quaility to my thinking, feeling, as I revisit my 20's - the hardest years of my life - for whom Bowie provided the musical score of my life and a 'friend' to connect with in music, images...

Alan's Truly Madly Deeply movie helped shift me through the break up of a relationship and ushered me into the one I am in now... and Alan's portrayal of Severus Snape in the Harry Potter movies was superlative, I can not imagine anyone else as having played the part. It was a fine redemption story one of utter love and devotion and so misunderstood.

Vale David.
Vale Alan.

Even though these people were not in my personal orbit, they were held deeply as cultural icons, and who they portrayed publicly were parts of me. I will miss them and I think at times like this we also touch more deeply on other losses, griefs, they become a catalyst to our other grief.

I am going to Melbourne with a very old friend (who also lives interstate) to attend the Bowie memorial tommorrow. It was spur of the moment, but so right that she and I connect at this time just for 24 hours. 

[CherryBomb]

Hi @MoonGal

I think there are many people who are grieving just like you even though they never had these figures in their immediate life. They touched people on a very deep level. That's thing with artists, they produce work that captures the experiences and realties of many. It's like we experiences things with them, and grow with them over our lives as its thier songs, their performances and their work that we've turned to, which has seen us through some harrowing, or even fun times. 

@Jamc and @Former-Member have written about the loss of David Bowie here.

Glad to hear that you're going to the memorial tomorrow. Honour you grief and celebrate the impact that Bowies had on your life. It'll be great to share it with others too. 

CherryBomb

[Mosaic]

Hi @MoonGal thank you for sharing your thoughts on the loss of David Bowie and Alan Rickman. I think their respective deaths has definitely moved a lot of people, as they were both incredibly influential and creative people in their own right. I was never much of a Bowie fan as I am bit young, but I definitely loved the Harry Potter series and I thought Rickman's portrayal of the character professor snape was so on point. His death has prompted me to begin watching the movies all over again, and maybe explore a bit more some of the other movies he has been in. I remember feeling quite grieved by the death of Robin Williams, as his movies had a big influence on my young life as well. So I can certainly relate to what you're saying. It's amazing to think how much a creative icon can genuinely enrich so many lives for the better.

We have a number of music lovers on the forums and I'd love to hear their thoughts on Bowie's passing. @Billamba  @Mazarita  @Former-Member  @Jacques  @JaneDoe1  @Appleblossom  @Former-Member Feel free to jump in with any thoughts or reflections you'd like to share.

Also @MoonGal just wondering - How was the David Bowie memorial service? Sounds like it was also a great opportunity to meet up with an old friend and enjoy Melbourne if only just for a short time.

[MoonGal]

@Mosaic - I attended the memorial, it was good to send time with my friend and to share our sorrow.. There were about 1000 people come through the event (the venue could only cater for 400 at a time). I am glad I went.

[Appleblossom]

I always appreciated David Bowie's unique outside the box style.  First heard him in late teens and even both my kids found him and played his stuff to me ...They have great taste.

He was so creative and an inspiration to many.

I also loved Alan Rickman's dry and dead pan humour.

It is sad. I guess I feel it is a natural grief for me ... as I am just a person who is getting on and cultural icons of my younger days are passing.

I also feel it is a relief as I can dip into the grief gently but not lose myself in the enormity of all the grief I was subjected to in my younger years.

[PeppiPatty]

I feel like you but not as strong @MoonGal

Im a bit more like @Appleblossom.....feel............. not get involved huge grief.......but mindful again...I never ever suffered anywhere as near as Apple did......Every time I think of Apple, I go quiet for a minute and shake my head. She truly is a survivor.

Mum and me have been searching for a truly Madly Deeply DVD but they are selling online for about $400.00

At the recovery of my head injury......My brother took me to see DAvid Bowie. He looked right at me and gave me a little wave. He's been a my favourite singer ever since and my husband and I got DAvid Bowie cds for our reception....but we forgot to bring them and so there was no music.........

It feels weird because they are our 'age,' they both were so prominent in our lives.

Have you got a DAvid Bowie moment....like where were you when you first heard him??

[Appleblossom]

I feel embarrassed when I read your post. @PeppiPatty I guess I want recognition but it feels strange to receive it. Thank you. I try not to underestimate the grit it took to recover from your accident and remain upbeat.

I had a lovely day in a little local garden party book launch.  Old friends surprised me and I made new friends.My son had a ball.

We all have to keep creating. Be the best we can be .... inspiration of great role models helps.

[PeppiPatty]

hmm Ms @Appleblossom

You and me have changed thoroughly throughout our time in Sane forums. It always helps having Mr @Loopy  and @Mosaic @CherryBomb @NikNikThe reality check is this;

30 years ago......in 1983 I was hit by a car. I chose my course of action then. It was a long long time ago and it worked for me. Im very lucky.

I had some MRIs in 2003 and a neurologist got very excited and went on and on how did I recover so much and I told him what I had done. 

Then....in 2010, I met Mr @LittleBuddha. He knows me now and also before the head injury. I really enjoyed spending time alone but he came along needing me very much and I never ever realised I needed him as much as I did. He says Im a better person after the head injury.

Thats it. This is my life. Nothing exciting. 

If you write your life.....it's the same. Us the not noticed because we are'nt rich or famous.....can see our lives more realistically...without the aplomb or Donald Trump fame. Probably like everyone here, I get constantly criticised by my neighbours.........some people know about my head injury and like critisising me ....... and by others.....life just goes on. But I've never...I dont think felt safe in a group of people. But I feel safe here.

When my brother was in a group of people, when I was 18...I thought I was part of that group but I never was. They all still fly around visiting each other and it's a Beautiful, caring group...Im just not part of it. 

Why dont you write your life like I have? Can you do that?? 

Would it be something that you would do?? I think it helps, I dont know.

Also, I make many mistakes on this forum but it's so amazing how I get forgiven........

Love hearing about the lunch......

[Appleblossom]

Yes it is good to have a few reality checks.

I dont think I have changed that much since posting ... just become more me .. perhaps it is the posting of the tough stuff is out of system, my defences are dropping way and I feel more connected to both Sane members and mods so I can relax better.

@PeppiPatty I want to write ... and write about my life. That is why I did a postgrad diploma and joined the writer's group. I get lost and a little paralysed when looking at things from every which direction and not just my own perspective. Tied up in knots about ethics. I also need encouragement as I can put a tough front on but inside I go to marshmallow about my secret desires.

The lady I have struggled with before had the book launch. In the past I had hoped she would mentor me but apparently she did not have it in her ... just incredible competitiveness and, boasting  ...  demanded I get her champagne and has published 7 books since i met her but not one encouraging word to me.  I am over her.  She has been interested in my son and he certainly needed company.  Her step daughter was there and did say I needed to write from my own perspective ... that was really nice to hear.  Also there may be others better suited to being mentors for me ... so I am feeling more optimistic about my writing long term.

[PeppiPatty]

dear @Appleblossom

no.....you might not have...it might be me. 

Love reading about your studies....I'de very much like to write but every time I start to.....other things walk into my life that need attention.....

It would be wonderful to hear that you are writing a book from your perspective. I feel the competition from some people to me......me. Jeepers Kreepers, theres nothing to get competitive in me but I feel it in a couple of people I know in my little life and it feels so funny. One is my Mum. She has...every time I bring up something that I have learnt about .....Its painful and her ..attitude shuts me up.

On Friday, I've been asked by one of her friends to have coffee with her so she can show me some embroidery I want to do and Mum called me and actually.......was sharp and abrasive about it...I said, oh Mum why dont you come and she said...no, thats not my thing.............

I used to think I was imagining it. Years ago.......

Why dont you and me do something just us two, like you do something and I do something. I want to embroider something simple. Ille show it to you when finished.