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Anna88
Senior Contributor

Moving on is hard

It's been 5 months now since my (now ex) boyfriend ended our relationship and I still feel like I'm struggling. He ended it because of his depression and later on said he didn't even understang why he did it. I miss him a lot still. I don't think I'll ever hear or see him again, we dated for 8 years and he was my best friend. I've moved towns and started a new job and am enjoying all the new things but it sometimes feels empty without him to talk too. I'm guessing there's no point having any hope after this much time. I wish he'd call and say he has got help for his depression and he wants to try again but that seems incredibly unlikely.

8 REPLIES 8

Re: Moving on is hard

I am sorry to hear about your relationship ending @Anna88. It must hurt that something as cruel as depression has torn the two of you apart. Depression sometimes causes the person living with the illness act totally out of character and they may lack insight that what they are doing was even hurtful. He might be under the impression what he did was the best option for him at the time. I know this as when I've hit depressive phases myself I've done and said some pretty hurtful things and pushed loved ones away. 

I know many people on the forums can relate to what you've said here, so I hope you'll find the forums as supportive as I do.

Re: Moving on is hard

Thanks @Queenie. Do people living with depression ever regret later on what they did? He seemed to end the relationship so quickly during his bad state and I wonder if there would ever be a time when he thinks "well actually I didn't need to do that".

Re: Moving on is hard

Oh there's a lot of things I've regretted doing when I was unwell @Anna88. In a perfect world I'd still have contact with my family, my home and my job. I have none of these things now sadly. Most of it through no fault of my own directly, but indirectly a lot of it was by my own poor thought through actions (I told my employer about my illness). 

I can't speak for your ex-partner, but I just wanted to let you know it is possible he has regrets too.

Re: Moving on is hard

Thanks. I'm guessing at this stage he mustn't have regrets as he hasn't got in touch.

Re: Moving on is hard

Hello @Anna88, have been thinking of you so much , sorry to hear about your relationship ending 

we are here for you my friend , you are not alone , sending you hugs Heart

Re: Moving on is hard

I've had about 3 nightmares this week about him having a new girlfriend and I wake up so upset and it kind of ruins my day because I keep thinking about it. I haven't heard that he's moved on, the whole point of ending our relationship was that he couldn't date and he even said he thought he'd be single for the rest of his life. Just my mind playing out my irrational fears I guess

Re: Moving on is hard

*I've had about 3 nightmares this week about him having a new girlfriend and I wake up so upset and it kind of ruins my day because I keep thinking about it.*

 

to be honest, you've shocked me with these words. that's because this is the exact same way i feel about my girlfriend and these nightmares does not seem to stop. moving on is indeed hard!

Re: Moving on is hard

Hi @Nexce. Yes it's crazy hard, where you together for long?
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