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Our stories

Re: My Hospital Stay

I want to go back to hospital. Been home 1 & 1/2 weeks. Nothings changed. Nothing.
You go from being in hospital surrounded by staff looking after you, activities to go to, and other clients to talk and cry with.
Then you come home to this .... nothingness.
No people. No motivation. No happiness. So you lie on your bed - all day - all night. Sometimes you sleep. Sometimes you don't.
You try tv, reading a book, colouring in. Nothing works. So you self sabotage again. You drink again. Poor pitiful me mode.
Hospital is easy.
Living is hard and painful and slow.

Re: My Hospital Stay

So sorry to hear that @utopia. I can understand that being in an environment where you are looked after and have some company and things to do is a lot more attractive than your current situation. 

I was really hoping that there would be supports in place so you wouldn't feel this way. I am so sad for you right now and really wish there was something I could do to help.

An anonomous Forum is one thing but it can't compare with real human companionship. 

Re: My Hospital Stay

Living can be hard @utopia. If it wasn't for my kids, I couldn't really see a purpose. I think it's important to feel that you matter to someone and that some of the basic needs for social belonging and esteem are met. 

We can often feel as if we are just surviving and not living at all. 

Is it possible for you to find something to look forward to? You need something to fill your day rather than drifting along the hours blurring into each other aimlessly. 

I hope you are eating healthily and getting some exercise. I'm sure that you know all this and it's a case of trying to make an effort when motivation isn't there. What about some past times you once enjoyed? You mentioned art classes that you did whilst in hospital. Could you pursue that? 

Do you have any appointments this week? Is there anyone you can reach out to? A neighbour or friend? Could you help someone in any way. Sometimes this gives life meaning. 

So much wish I could sit with you and lend you my ear. Make a cup of tea or a meal to us to share.

Hope you wake up in the morning with a bit of happiness. 


Re: My Hospital Stay

I think you are lonely, @utopia. It's so hard being alone with our feelings. 

Can you get out and join some kind of group? 

I know it's not easy.

I was only thinking the other day, that until I met my husband when I was 40 years old, that I was lonely my entire adult life

It was pretty much since the day I left home at 19, I became lonely. even though my home life (with my family or origin) was not great at all, at least I had company and I knew what to expect. 

On my own.... it should have been exhilarating, adventurous, a time of learning and discovery.... but honestly, it was just lonely.

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