Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[carer1987]

I've never ever written on a forum before.
I am very disturbed by the sense of responsibility i feel over my sister's livelihood as she keeps telling me. Any advice on handling bpd in a sibling would be much appreciated...my psych said i have ptsd signs due to this

[Determined]

Hi @carer1987

Welcome to the forum.
My wife suffers from borderline personality disorder, I am still learning how to handle this in a way that benifits both of us. I have been often reccomended the book Stop walking on eggshells but have not had a chance to check it out yet, (I got the e-book version recently but wasnt able to get along with it, need to arrange a swap for the hard copy) you may like to take a look at it also. 

The biggest thing I am reading and being told is to inpliment loving boundaries and be consistant in maintaining them. This is somthing I struggle with 😞

Trust this is of some benifit to you.  

[CherryBomb]

Looking after somone can bring up mixed feelings. On one hand, you love them and want the best for them. On the other hand, you can also feel tired and fed up.

When caring for someone with a MI, such as BPD, it's important to recognise that the behaviours are symptoms of the disorder, not the person. Tough this boundary between the illness and person is very blurry. So try to put boundaries around behaviours that impact you the most. 

You want to connect with @Che who has a daughter with undiagnosed BPD. She written about some of her diffculties here, and @Waterlily has similarly written here about her daughter who has BPD.

I'm sorry to hear about how this is impacting on you. Carers are at risk of developing their own MI too. I've written about the negative impacts associated with caring here. It's really important that you can look after yourself too. Reaching out on the Forums is good start. Do you get much time to yourself?

[carer1987]

thank you for writing back- her conditi n has been ongoing for 15 years. I will look at those suggested posts.

[NikNik]

Hi @carer1987

I hope you found the threads and references @CherryBomb & @Determined recommended helpful.

Did you want to share a bit more about what's going on with yourself and your sister.

Can you explain a bit more about feeling responsible for her livelihood? Do you live with her? Does she have any other family of her own (children, partner etc).

Nik