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Nay69
Senior Contributor

One way marriage

I am almost 50 and I am in a one way marriage. My husband recently screamed at me telling me that he never wanted to marry me and never asked.

of course this ripped my heart out. It was The most painful experience I have ever had to live through in my life so far. 

I do not feel respected or loved anymore and my faith in my marriage is completely shattered.

 I don’t understand how someone you love unconditionally can just break your heart and dreams without a care in the world.

 I know that he has a marijuana dependency issue because I am constantly paying for it.

 I don’t know what to do because if he doesn’t have anything he is the most angry, vindictive, nasty person that you can come across, yet when he is stoned he is normal...

it is really scary for me and our beautiful girl. She is only 13 and she has already seen more than any child should see in a lifetime .

 I feel like I have failed her and I struggle daily with my husband ‘s mood swings depending on whether he has pot or not.

 Am I alone, doing something wrong, or just plain stupid for letting this happen?

 I desperately need some words of advice on this because I am at the end of my rope.

 

Thanks for listening xoxo 

8 REPLIES 8

Re: One way marriage

@Nay69 I honestly have no advice, but I'm listening and hearing you. I was in a one way marriage some years ago. Different reasons to yours. It's hard and both you and your daughter deserve better, but I think deep down you know that.

Do you have any professional support? If not a GP is a good place to start. Please don't struggle alone. There are many others around the forums who have been through or are going through similar situations. Hope to see you around.

Re: One way marriage

Thanks for your kind words and support. It feels good to know that I am not alone in my journey x💐

Re: One way marriage

@Maggie

Thanks so much for your kind words and support. I am going to counseling regularly but it feels good to know that I am not alone in this 💐

Re: One way marriage

@Nay69 Have you had a look around the forum? There are some lighter threads where you might just like to get to know a few others wandering around. I'll tag you into a few. 

Re: One way marriage

Hi @Nay69@Maggie

 

I know what you are talking about - I had two long term relationships - but husband was a man who was silent and morose - and as the years passed we lived different lives and we had little in common and eventually we separated and divorce and I was glad to get out of it

 

My second relationship - we were not romantically involved and I didn't live with him thank goodness - this meant I had my own place and often retreated there and broke up with him often, I was intolerant of his addiction to the dreaded weed and eventually broke up forever though he followed me around and in spite of the years since and he doesn't know where I live now I have seen him follow me now and again which is not pleasant

 

I do know what you are talking about - he was angry with me a lot and I loved him alas - we cannot just turn love on and off like a switch though he managed to destroy my love for him - and I am pretty sure he didn't love me - maybe he loved what he thought I was in his weedy dreams - I will never know

 

But it does hurt - this I know - and I was free to leave him behind - when you are married it's harder

 

But he is abusing you - and one suggestion I have is to seek support but I don't know where now - Department of Human Services is one

 

Other people might know

 

But you are not stupid and it is not your fault - it's unpleasant that your daughter is exposed to all of this - but you are not failing her 

 

But it's up to you to decide whether it's worth staying in the relationship -  my suggestion is not - but it's easy for me to say

 

I just know it's really horrible to be in a one-way-relationship and also to be with a person who is more interested in their drug of choice than you

 

I hear you - I get it

 

Dec

 

Thanks for sharing and write more - you are most welcome to be in this forum - people here have many stories and many ideas

Re: One way marriage

@Owlunar 

 

Thank you so much x

 

I am so happy to have found this forum. You are all so supportive which means the world to me.

 I have so much that I want to share and now I feel like I have a safe place to be 

Re: One way marriage

@Maggie

Thanks so much x

I look forward to talking with you all and being able to share my thoughts and feelings that I have kept to myself for so long

Re: One way marriage

good afternoon @Nay69, @Owlunar, @Maggie Heart

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