05-01-2020 10:12 AM
Hi, @Queenie , I read your post with interest, as my 31 yr old son was diagnosed with schizophrenia about 2 years ago, and suffers with the voices, and sometimes believes he is a mega rich celeb...when he hears the voices, he calls it "recon"and that he is has been on a "relay" for ages. He used to talk about having chips implanted and that "they" have fused his spine together.
I have come here to the forums to try to get a better understanding of my sons suffering and to learn more about the lived experiences.
He is on a community treatment order to take his medication for now, but I worry how well he would cope if that was stopped.
Thanks for listening, and for your experience,
Cheers, Libra xo
07-01-2020 10:12 PM
Hey there @Libra! I apologise for taking so long to get back to you. I now limit my online time to prevent being 'lost' in an online world.
I have to ask, is your son's CTO (community treatment order) likely to end soon? I used to be on one and am still volunteering for my depot injection. The GP did say she'd monitor my attendance at appointments. So far I haven't missed any depot injections.
I used have all these fixed delusions about being famous and mega rich. I also believed I was part of a government experiment which an implant which would control my experiences in life... from being a celebrity, to being a homeless person. I also believed my job within a government department was not because I was the best suited candidate, rather it was so the government could monitor me.
Thankfully I no longer have delusionary thoughts and fantasies. I still have times when I have active hallucinations, but they are nothing in comparison to what I was experiencing leading up to my last admission in November/December.
I wanted to let you know that schizophrenia needn't be a life sentence. I am studying (second year now) to return to work in (hopefully) the mental health industry myself. I know plenty of others with this diagonstic label, actors, songwriters, artists... they are all living to the best of their abilities.
Don't forget in caring for your son, that you matter too. Adequate self care of the carer is not selfish, it is vital! Without the co-pilot, the flight of recovery is bound to be a bumpy ride!
Take care Libra, I'll look out for you on the forums.
08-01-2020 08:57 AM
Thanks so much for your reply @Queenie, I can relate to limiting online time...the giant rabbit hole we fall into and lose hours of our precious time!
I think my sons CTO is up for review early next month. I usually attend the tribunal meetings, except for the last one, where my son told me he walked out in anger and the order was handed down without him being present. He usually gets 6 months at a time.
I think he is still in denial about his diagnosis and doesn't believe the injections do anything for him, though he has been on them for about 2 years now.
He still usues illegal drugs, and refuses any therapy. I've tried to encourage him, telling him how much counselling has helped me over the years and his case manager has tried to introduce the idea too. He is obviously in a lot of pain which numbs with drugs. His father had similar issues re: drugs and alcohol and died age 51 when my son was 15.(liver failure)
You give me hope, by sharing your experience and I thank you for it. My son has always been a very loving person with a big heart and I know he can have a good life.
Good luck with your studies and future work in the MH industry, just the people we need, with lived experience!
Thanks again, Libra xoxo
08-01-2020 09:13 PM
Hi again @Libra, it certainly seems like your son is battling with a lot on his plate. For me alcohol abuse and illicit drugs came after my first hospitalisation. I was very confused at the time and felt like I needed something, anything to soften the blow. Now I'm diagnosed and in treatment, I'm pleased to say I am no longer fighting with addiction issues.
It's a tricky one when we see our loved ones 'stuck' in psychosis. For me insight into my illness came to me like a thunderbolt from the blue. I am thankful I have that much needed insight. Mind you, there's been times when my illness has simply taken over and all insight into my illness goes flying out the window. At those times, I've lived haphazardly, denying I have a mental illness. In my case, it is terrifying for all those concerned (including me). I've lost count of the number of admissions I've had to a psych unit.
Insight, for me, came with people like friends and family reassuring me that I had a mental illness, that I was not a failed government experiment and that nobody was monitoring. I certainly wasn't a celebrity socialite and definitely NOT mega rich. Mind you, it wasn't instantaneous, it took months if not years of constant reassurance to even let my guard down and open my mind to the idea I might be mentally ill. Unfortunately, I cannot advise you on how your son might gain insight into his illness, as everyone is different and what works for one might not work for another. I say keep up your invaluable work as his mother, his carer and his friend.
If your son is up for review of his CTO soon, are you able to attend his next review meeting with him?
I'm interested in knowing the outcome of his tribunal review, please let me know if it is a positive outcome.
01-02-2020 10:05 AM
Hi @Queenie ,
Letting you know re: my son Community Treatment Order...it is set for 14 Feb, and he has been handed his papers. His regular case manager is on leave and I have a "Godsend" of a man replacing him! He is so caring and helpful, asking me to call him and text him outcomes of visits with my son and taking all my calls. He gives me advice and when I told him that I have to work and can't get my son to the hospital to attend a psych doctor appointment, he arranged for himself and the doctor to visit my son! He said that my son was very polite and respectful and articulated well, but let them know that he was beginning to get aggitated and it was time for them to go.
Two weeks ago my son used meth and was in an extremely fierce mood, I took him to the shops and then left him there, as he was verbaly abusing me and another stranger...I called his case manager to let him know.
Anyways, he has been good since, I think he was almost ashamed of his behaviour and I felt stronger for leaving his presence and telling him that I refuse to be treated like that.
I will let you know of the CTO outcome, his case manager is of the opinion that he will get another 6 months, but he shows good form in attending all his injection dates.
Thanks for for time,
Cheers Libra xo
03-02-2020 08:43 PM
I am the same as you. I am on medication and have been on it for years and yet teh voices are still always there.
Though on medication they are not as loud and a bit easier to tolerate.
here if you ever wanna chat
04-02-2020 03:53 PM
Thanks for letting me know how your son is doing @Libra I had been wondering how things are going. 🙂 Thank goodness for the new case manager, he sounds like he could really make a positive difference in your son's life. I hope he continues to be his CM after the other person returns from leave?
How does your son feel about the possibility of his CTO being extended? I know you mentioned your son is still using meth here and there, it can be difficult to watch a loved one use drugs, especially when they already live with mental illness, as it can seem like they are a different person to the one we love. How are you coping in all this?
15-02-2020 01:14 AM
Hi, i was diagnosed with Schizohprenia when was 15. I've been through almost every antipsychotic you can think of. Honestly, my psychosis was very treatment-resistant and it took me a long time to find the right meds and dosage. Now i dont hear the voices anymore or have any delusional thoughts, i still visually hallucinate daily, though.
My symptoms also tend to shift depending on my mood aswell (depression,PTSD), do yours?. I have no friends anymore, so i tend to feel lonely alot and thats when my delusions start to kick in sometimes, but i'd love to hear your experience, if your still active on this site, that is.
22-02-2020 10:19 AM
Hi @Queenie ,
Finally getting around to letting you know how my son's CTO meeting went...on the way down he said that he was going to walk out of the meeting if they renewed it for another 6 mths, and asked me not to come in, as he didn't want me to be embarrassed.
He attended the meeting AND did walk out...they gave him another 6 mths. He was very upset and kept asking when are they going to be out of his life? I said that they only want you to keep taking your medication. He said that he won't take it and face the consequences...
He is due for another injection next Wednesday, and I'll be doing my best to get him there. His case manager has told me how important it is. I have a feeling he will come around.
His case manager will be leaving when his old case manager returns...
On the other hand, I had a little win with public housing this week! I went to the office and made enquiries in person, and found that his application is still current and I ony needed to update the consent form, to act on his behalf and things are up and running again. His case manager will be calling Social Futures on Monday to get his priority assessment going! I'm determined to be the "squeaky wheel". I have been quite stressed lately and my doctor thought I should be back on anxiety meds...so Iam.
But it's amazing how little things like the public housing breakthrough can lift your spirits!
Hope you are well, and thanks for your time,
Cheers Libra xo