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Re: Taking the plunge

Please contact the team at SANE @Gazza75 It is important for you to get clarity with this situation from those that have a much wider insight into what is happening. There are times that we can only see what is right in front of us whereas there may be a wider concern for breach of guidelines and/or more going on that is obvious. There are often ongoing difficulties with members that may or may not include their use of the forum as well so further clarity around that is important. Whilst we do not always agree with actions taken it is important to remember that everyone is doing the best they can to make it a safe and inclusive community and do what is right for all members.

 

I do hear your frustrations but would really encourage you to seek that clarity from those involved Smiley Very Happy

Re: Taking the plunge

I have not agreed with everything, even tried to challenge at times. Mostly I keep at it by working with what I believe is the right spirit and approach.

I am sure there is a big need of people on the edges, not posting much and easily put off.  It is really hard to please all the people all the time.

Be sad if we lost you over it.

@Gazza75 

Smiley Happy

Re: Taking the plunge

Hi @Gazza75

 

I'm sorry to hear that you do not feel comfortable emailing us (i.e., the SANE Forums team) about your concern and upset feelings regarding our moderation process. We would never want to position anyone to feel unsafe to contribute and seek support on the SANE forums. Unfortunately, sometimes this overarching intention positions us to ask a member to edit their post so that the safety of the broader community is retained. However, if you feel as if we have removed a post without enough consideration, we would love for you to email the SANE Forums Team (team@saneforums.org) to work through this process. Sometimes posts are re-instated as a result, as we acknowledge that moderators are humans and can, thus, make mistakes. Therefore, as @CheerBear @Shaz51 @Zoe7 said, please do consider emailing us.

 

Kindest Regards,

Amour_Et_Psyché

Re: Taking the plunge

@CheerBear That image not only resonated with me but made me giggle. My sister has always said it would be easier to putch a match to my house rather than have to sort it out if I wasn't around - she is only joking  but is not far wrong. I do have a lot of 'stuff' - mainly school stuff but a lot of books and art/craft stuff of my own too. 

Re: Taking the plunge

I had a feeling you had a bit of stuff @Zoe7, especially crafty/arty stuff. I was so messed up at the time I asked that I almost would have done it if she'd said yes 😏 A few months later we moved into this house and it all came out of storage in thrown together boxes of total jumble and chaos. I was still so angry about everything that a whole lot of it ended up smashed, torn, broken, snapped etc. into skips anyway. We don't have as much stuff anymore and I like that 😁 though we have collected a bit again since and sometimes that really irks me.

I still haven't let the real estate know about the hot water. Serious procrastination (anxiety). I'll have face it soon.

I hope your morning is going okay enough and you're keeping as busy as you need to ❤

Re: Taking the plunge

Oh procrastination - I know it well  @CheerBear Smiley Surprised Unfortunately that does not get us anywhere or what needs doing done Smiley Frustrated

 

It is heartbreaking when so much of what you have is broken or damaged Hon. Luckily when I moved I had time to pack and it was a very short distance so I could do it gradually and with care. Some things got damage when my Dad and sister's partner came to help - they were nowhere near as careful as I was Smiley Frustrated ...but that is so different to your situation and how quickly it all had to happen. We used to have a very limited time frame to pack and get things out of houses when I worked with the DV shelter so I understand very much how quickly it all has to be done. We would have police accompany us on most of those occasions for all our safety as we would never know what we would be faced with. It is a really hard thing to have to face but I am so glad you have began to make a home for yourself and your LF again - it is not easy to do but you alone have done that Hon and that is some accomplishment Heart

Re: Taking the plunge

I didn't realise you worked in a shelter/refuge @Zoe7. From what I saw it would be a seriously full on job.

I had police come with us when we went home too, as I wasn't allowed to go there without them (threatened with Child Protection and being kicked out of refuge if I did 😏). I had about 15mins there with the kids and two detectives who had a bazillion other better things to do but wanted to support us so they came instead of sending random police. I forgot to bring my keys and had left the house locked up tight. I had to get a leg up over the big fence by one of them then I climbed on every window sill I could trying to peel off the fly screens and prize open a window to break in (which was just before I asked about setting the house on fire so I looked full criminal I'm sure 😆). We ended up with police escort across the suburb to pick up a spare key from a very surprised friend. That was the last time I saw her. Once we got in one of the police people came inside and helped Little find their favourite book and Big get some school stuff ❤ They collected board games and books and stuffed lovelies thinking it was a big adventure. Then I left our home to the strangers to pack it all up. It was one of the saddest, hardest things I've ever been through.

Buuuut I look back now and feel proud of how much it took to do but how I did it anyway. It makes a broken hot water system feel more doable when I think about it. I just pushed send on the email to the real estate reminding myself that if I can do all of that ⬆️ I can do this.

Thanks for listening Zoe. It felt good to share that ❤

Re: Taking the plunge

That is unfortunately not an uncommon story for me to hear @CheerBear I worked in crisis counselling as well as child support within the shelter. It was a full on job but I was part-time so it was more doable. I also worked mostly afternoons/nights so a lot of the time I was on my own. You get to know the police really well as well as other services ...but the job itself had its own rewards. One of the things that we used to find (and I am still sure happens so readily now) is women would be reluctant to leave because they did not see how they could 'survive' without help with things we often take for granted ie. changing a fuse ...they would often focus on those little things they could not do rather than the ongoing violence. It is a scary world when everything you have know is taken away and you have to face even those simple things on your own ...the power continues to be taken away even after they have left - no self worth, no self esteem, no confidence, no knowledge and no hope for anything more and that is what is heartbreaking - that people have been 'beaten down' so much that they feel stuck within their situation. It takes so much to rebuild lives after that but you certainly have done that Hon and with dignity, respect, courage and strength ...so much admiration for what you have done and continue to do for both yourself and your LF Heart

Re: Taking the plunge

Such a full on job for you @Zoe7. It's great that had counselling there and children's workers too. Where I was they didn't. The workers would come in a few times during the working week to do case management stuff but otherwise we were left on our own which meant lots of trouble at times (though also lots of fun when we could too). I heard the same kinds of stories about women being stuck not knowing how to survive. One giant blow for me came from having already left and done the rebuild thing years earlier. I was feeling so confident on my own and secure in our place. It smashed me that it still happened even though I'd made it that far. There's so, soooo much anger in that but I guess at least I didn't have to learn as much or adjust quite as much as many do.

Thanks for your lovely words. I appreciate it ❤

I heard from the real estate and apparently it is likely to have been some rain that caused the hot water to go (yeah right 😑) and they'll get on to it tomorrow if it won't ignite later this afternoon. I'm mad but there's little I can do.

Hope you hear about cat soon ❤

Also hoping the day is going okay for all who might be passing by here 👋

Re: Taking the plunge

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