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17-06-2019 09:28 PM
17-06-2019 09:28 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
I to have friends & family very opinionated but I now don’t worry about them because they don’t know the full story behind her actions.
It’s difficult because when her walls are up she’s pushes me away & I’m guessing because she doesn’t want to get hurt, but then when we are in a good place she’s extreme which messages about how much she loves me & all that stuff which I feel I’ve got to reply to others wise she thinks something is wrong...
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17-06-2019 11:25 PM
17-06-2019 11:25 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
Has she had a history of being hurt a lot?
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23-06-2019 10:01 PM
23-06-2019 10:01 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
If I'm honest, a person with BPD can be the most caring, empathetic person around BUT we can flick like a switch when we feel threatened. We might go in to survival mode and turn against you.
Also, yes, it can be hard to convince a person with BPD that your feelings are sincere. You really need patience but I guarantee you, if you prevail, you will probably find the most loyal, loving companion...of course, not everyone is exactly the same though..this is obviously a generalisation...
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25-06-2019 10:38 PM
25-06-2019 10:38 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
Sorry just getting back to your question now.
She has been hurt in the passed from her ex husband but long term from her Mum & Dad growing up but never thought anything of it until later in life which triggered BPD. She is so afraid I people abandoning her that she try’s to be someone she’s not..basically try’s to hard.
It’s an constant battle to be careful about what I do or say just so she doesn’t take it the wrong way or over think it.
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26-06-2019 11:47 PM
26-06-2019 11:47 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
I have definitely come to appreciate how crucial the issue of abandonment is for those with BPD. Do you feel that this 'survival mode' may include going back into an old (and not so good) relationship in the face of their current partner going overseas?
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24-07-2019 01:50 PM
24-07-2019 01:50 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
Hey @Beekind . Thanks for your kind words.
Sorry for the very delayed response. To answer your question, although I can't say one way or another for certain because I don't know the girl, it sounds like she is probably most comfortable in a more unhealthy relationship because she knows what to expect. There is too much to lose and too much too fear in a healthy relationship with a decent person.
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24-07-2019 04:15 PM
24-07-2019 04:15 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
helllo @Beekind , @Met1 how are you today xxx
sooo glad you are here @ComplexityQueen
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24-07-2019 04:30 PM
24-07-2019 04:30 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
Hi @Shaz51 I’m going well thanks. How’s things your end?
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24-07-2019 04:36 PM
24-07-2019 04:36 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
one step at a time here my friend @Met1
my husband has bipolar 11 and other diagnosis , every day is different
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24-07-2019 08:20 PM
24-07-2019 08:20 PM
Re: Understanding BPD
That must be tough on you @Shaz51 it’s hard every day & on top of that you need to juggle your own life.