Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[MrsC]

ZZ I don't have access to deal with bills myself - i have to ask for money every time & I get growled at for that

[zipper]

Im sorry Mrs C for not fully understanding and it is a difficult situation you are finding yourself in.  

I have had to take charge of our familys finances as money was and is a trigger for my husband to spiral downwards.  It got to the stage money couldnt be discussed at all.  It is a bit better now but I have to choose my moments.  It is hard when I am keeping money aside for bills that I know are coming in and he can only use one button at the ATM - the $60 button.  When I query him, he says but I needed cash! $60 for a trip to the local shops and to buy himself coffee at the most expensive place in town!!

Perhaps, wait till a quiet time and before the bills are due, suggest that you could take some pressures off him, by paying them.  Im sure you have already done this but it may be a case of choosing your moment and your battles

Or You may just have to ignore his 'carry ons' (I know its hard) and say fine, we will just have it all disconnected and just pay the extra fees to get it put back on again

Sorry, another thought, being practical here, are you able to access the money if something happens to him? Maybe a bit of a plan could be put into action so you arent ever left in a bad situation

take care

ZZ

[MrsC]

Thanks zz - thinking we are in the same place - I have the same topic going in "new diagnosis" so if its ok I'll just keep it all in one place 🙂

[NikNik]

Hi all,

I thought you might find this new thread about the signs of a health relationship.

Hope you're all well 🙂

Nik

[cheersquad]

@zipper should have replied to this month's ago. I think that a support group would be wonderful I have never found one. Whilst don't feel I need it at the moment when I do I really need help and happy to support others.

As wives/partners we will have many similar stories and can learn and listen ti each other.

[Shaz51]

Hi cheersquad                    I am a wife of my husband who has depression and anxiety bad , the support group is an hour away and during the day which makes it impossible for me to go to  

[Shaz51]

Hi Tatsinda ,

your second comment  is so true

2. I think the hardest bit has been the unpredictability of it, and having to switch between carer and wife. And the loneliness that comes with it, and sense of abandonment - one minute I have a husband, the next things can deteriorate and I have a patient again

I find I can not plan things together , as my husband changes his mind all the time and he forgets things as well

[BeHappy]

I can relate to this @Shaz51

It's hard to make plans so I don't. I try to approach thing day by day if I can.

[Shaz51]

hi cheersquad         , you have some great tips , thanks for sharing

My husband has  chronic anxiety and depression ,

we are self employed but sometimes it gets too much for him, I take care of everything , and bills ect, he loves pleasing people , at yesterdays meeting she said to cut back on the workload , whih my hubby thinks is a good idea but he cant say no to anyone ( I do that ) and to say to our customers we not coming back is not what he wants to do

[Shaz51]

sorry everyone , if I sound like a broken record

Hubby`s gone to sleep and i have been looking up past messages and will have to get back to looking after myself as well