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SCORPION
Senior Contributor

newby

Hi just a brief history

October 2012 while I was just riding home from work on my Motorcycle a car just pulled out from my

Left. I had no time to brake or take any evasive action.  I just thought that this was it I'm dead.

I remember hitting the car the sounds then lying in the road and in so much pain wishing I was dead.

The next few days where a blur.  I had badly broken pelvic 5cm separation internal injuries and a shatered left arm..I had a frame holding me together. 

Spent 2 weeks in ICU another week in trauma unit then 3 months in rehab before I could walk.

While in hospital and rehab had a few issues dealing with the situation. Now still have nightmare s and flashbacks to accident so real i nearly freak out. 

I have been diagnosed as depressed and suffering PSTD.

17 REPLIES 17
Hobbit
Senior Contributor

Re: newby

Hi Scorpion,

Welcome to the forums!! You will find some great people here, who can offer much support and practical advice. It's great that you have come onto forums such as these to connect with others.

Your accident sounds horrific. Do you have much in the way of support for yourself?

Hobbit.

SCORPION
Senior Contributor

Re: newby

Hi thanks

I have a great wife very tolerate and a good phyc but it's hard at times as so many people just don't understand so at times getting very frustrated and angry when people say that was 2 years ago aren't you over that just get on with life and don't think about it. 

I Just need to sometimes want to exchange veiws and feelings with others that understand and not have to explain it to them. 

JT
Senior Contributor

Re: newby

Hi Scorpion, welcome to the forums.  I'm sure you'll find some more support here on the forums.  People who think we can all just get over it just aren't worth the brain space.  Do they seriously think a person who has suffered a trauma can just get over it or that they spend all their time thinking about it?!  

SCORPION
Senior Contributor

Re: newby

Hi 

Yes I thought I had an understanding myself but until you suffer mental illness yourself you really

Have no idea. I now have thoughts that I can't explain and at times they are so pervasive they

Make sense at the time but I have learned to recognize when I am not thinking quite right. As there is

Times I have urges to self harm I can't explain why but to date I have resisted . But try to explain to someone all you get is don't be silly you don't look crazy, I just roll my eyes and think there is so many

People out in the world that suffer a medical condition that most don't what to know about where just a bit of understanding would help everyone. 

peace
Senior Contributor

Re: newby

Hi Scorpion. I too suffer with PTSD. Have done now for 8 years. The past year or so it has begun to get easier. I was also in a horror road accident.
Unfortunately it is a huge wake up call of how little control we have over circumstances / life and it can be very fearful. This can trigger off anxiety and depression in so many other areas of our life, as our reactions have now changed. Our lived experience has had its affect upon us weather we like it or not.
People who have not been through similar things in life are not able to relate or understand. What they can do is RESPECT how it is for you and the healing process you are going through. I hope you can stand up for your self and receive the respect and time and love needed to heal. And you will. I wish you peace.
-karma-
Community Elder

Re: newby

Welcome @newby

check out Sane's fact sheet here;

http://www.sane.org/information/factsheets-podcasts/798-post-traumatic-stress-disorder

I am interested in hearing your experience of being in intensive care, and the lasting effects this has had on you.

I have a family member who survived an long term stay in ICU, and their memories of this time are still an emotional nerve years later.

It makes me curious as to the unacknowledged experience of physical health on mental health, or potetnially the inadequate support offered, to what seems to me a very obvious connection.

Also, that the narrative we create for ourselves changes over time, as does the impact of events.

What would you say to this, was this true for you?

SCORPION
Senior Contributor

Re: newby

Hi 

I'll give you brief run down as my memory of the ICU isn't the most pleasant. 

Most of the time iwas on a pain pump ketrmine I think it was called one nurse called it special K.

Any time I had to be moved or have a back rub I had a fframe put around me and special boards put under me then a crane type of machine lifted me. Even on strong pain medication any movement caused extrem pain.

Once in many of my transfers to a trolley for MRI and X rays they took me without pain pump and said I would be back before I would need it. As would happen there was some stuff up and delays the orderly left me in some corridor or hallway after a few minutes no one came I tied to get people's attention but everone just kept saying wait you wi be moved soon after some more time I lost track of how long I lost it as pain was over the top and had to scream and abuse people till someone ask what ward I was from when I settled a bit and told them they panicked and rushed me back.

I must have made some sort of impact as the hospital phsyc came and had a talk to me. Generally I though my treatment was not bad but was always quite scared as at the time lots of pain and didn't know what my future would be.

Never want to be back there as a patient or to visit someone the thought of the place just puts me into a cold chill.

I hope you friend recovers well.

Tom

Re: newby

Yeah, highlights vulnerability and dependence on those providing care, amongst other more worldly issues.

Re: newby

Hi @SCORPION,

I just want to say welcome to the community. Smiley Happy

Your experiences of people saying things like, 'that was 2 years ago aren't you over that; just get on with life; and don't think about it' could be put on a list of what NOT to say someone who has PTSD. Unfortunately, many people find it hard to understand that it is not as simple as that. MI is complex, and it's not just a matter of choice - as is this case with illness. This lack of understanding from others can feel pretty isolating so I hope you can find some people to connect with here on the forums.

 Not sure if you've seen this but there's this thread about PTSD posted by @Loopy - Loopy any words of wisdom for SCORPIAN?   Also you may like to connect with  @Neb and @Cazzie  also have had experiences caring for people with PTSD who may be able to share some insights with you. 

CB

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