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Robeth8384
New Contributor

67 n still having hard time...

Good morning everyone,I new here n I'm glad just in time I found this site.

Ever since I can remember,life is hard,relationship to Children (I have 2) relationship with my second husband(first one the father of my children passed with Cancer in 2006).

Life seems getting harder everyday,with my husband 67 as well who is screaming at me and calling me names every time it's full moon or when things is not to his liking.

I'm not sure why I'm staying with him for the last 11 years,I guess I love him n I still think that he still loves me.n think he will change ,not sure.

The other day I ask for his help ,because I'm a pensioner n he is still working full-time my pension got cut in more than half to what I should have if I'm on my own.

The Centrelink asked me to provide his pay slip so they said can check again how much I can get.,but when i asked him all i get is screaming n abused n told me to tell them to f 'off.i calmly said if i don't send it they will cut my pension n i cannot pay my bills,"he said,"YOU TELL THEM THAT!".I got so angry n yelled back at him.

I told him I've been helping him to drop off n n pick him up everyday to work for nearly 4 months(his car broke down n i don't think he intended to have it fix anymore.( I can't work anymore because of the car accident 3 years ago)

So I said if you are not going to help me on this I'm not taking you to work anymore,i told him to have his car fix.

He keeps on saying he was gonna but nothing,he just now taking taxi to n from work.

This morning i asked him if he wants me to drop him off but he said no.He still not helping me either for my Centrelink.

I don't know what to do..

I'm getting so angry n frustrated.i left him so many times during our 11 years marriage because of his abuse but he keeps on asking me back n i can't refuse,i still n always love him but at the same time I'm getting so angry.

I can't let him drive my car because he is so careless with his car even with mine..

Please help..so desperate n getting angry.

My son he helps me n giving me money for some of my bills but I can't accept it all the time,he has to live his life too n I feel like I'm a burden to him.

My daughter,she's here near me but it feels like she's million miles away,when I call her she rarely answer even when I message her she doesn't reply much.

The other day I spoke with her told her my.problem but it seems like yeah..umhhmm,not good..I asked her is it too hard to answer her phone when I call or is it hard to reply to my messages? N she said I answer..with her,we don't see eye to eye,but she can be nice ,Beautiful kind person but lately she is so distant.She just broke up n left her abusive partner as well .

Please help for advice..

I'm feeling so all alone..

 

 

4 REPLIES 4

Re: 67 n still having hard time...

@Robeth8384  Hi and welcome to the forums :).  My son2 who has schizophrenia and autism says you should tell him where to go and find some one worthy of you. He says kick this husband of yours to the kerb. I agree time to ditch him and start living your own life. Nothing worse than living a bad marriage. That is my two cents worth but it is your choice you have to decide what you can or cannot live with. pea

Re: 67 n still having hard time...

Hi @Robeth8384 

 

I'm just new to this forum too. Joined yesterday. Isn't it a relief to find it.

 

You didn't mention if your husband has been diagnosed with anything? Is he on meds? Does he take them?

 

xx

Re: 67 n still having hard time...

Has your second husband always tended to treat you this way or is it new? Could it be the Covid thing getting to him? Are there are things stressing him out? You have rights as you know, and don't have to put up with his abusing you really. It sounds very difficult for you. Do you need to seek out support so that you could leave your husband and be safe doing so do you think? 

If your husband loves you, he needs to improve his behaviour towards you. That does not sound loving behaviour. 

It does sound like perhaps a Social Worker at a hospital could help you if you were to go to ED or to a GP and explain about the way you are being treated, and that your financial support is being threatened. 

Your husband sounds like he has depression, a personality disorder, or is not coping and taking it out on you. 

Re: 67 n still having hard time...

Im not an expert, I struggle with relationships and I do not understand humans too well so take tgis advice with a grain of salt.

 

Make your wants and needs clear and stick by what you say will be the outcome or leave him.

 

Contact your family with love, not need and you may build a better relationship.

 

Sing.

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