Lived Experience Forum

[Owlunar]

Hi @Lemonjuice 

Yes - it would be so much easier for you to be cared through when you are feeling so fragile but you are right - this isn't a perfect world - it is so tough for you and you have done so much for your family - you will be glad when all the sorting out is done

I really don't understand hoarding - my ex-h was a hoarder and I wouldn't let him keep his stuff in the house except for his bedroom - he built a large brick garage on our property and filled it with the stuff he had hoarded at his mother and I left all that junk when I left the house when it was sold - he left a lot of junk in our roof and I am wondering to this day what happened to that but it's not my problem

How wonderful it is to be able to walk away from someone else's junk - I hope you can eventually do this with your parents' stuff - I personally don't understand why people hoard crap like that but they do - and I suppose it does end up being someone else's problem eventually - 

So - if you are in control of selling the house I guess you have to dump the trash - just in case there is something important in there you need to sort through it I guess - which is horrible - 

I care about you having to do all of this and I get it that you are done - having done it since you were six - what would have happened had you not done all of this? 

I wouldn't tolerate my mother's nastiness and years passed and sometimes I could attend family events and sometimes I couldn't and sometimes I wouldn't and I was pushed to the outside but I liked that better and got on with my life - and here I am today - free of it. My sister was my mother's favourite and she was the one left to empty a house full of ornaments - I have no idea how many but my daughter had helped and her eyes rolled when she mentioned all the ornaments

Personally I think the hoarded crap is only the evidence of a deeper collection of grudges - grudges - bad feelings - lost Christmases - grudges - etc  and more grudges - I think it was a mammoth task you had caring for everyone for all those years and I wish you the best with a new life without all of this

It's not easy - I know that much - the other side of that coin is being ostracised - we all have a choice I suppose but it's never an easy sitation - I feel for you

Dec