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Something’s not right

Re: Can't cope with the guilt trips & responsibility

Hi @VeeM and welcome to the forums 👋


@Corny  @LittleSister  there was a Topic Tuesday info sesh on the forums tonight to do with compassion fatigue and carer’s burnout.  I will tag y’all to it so you can take s look if you like.  @outlander  @Darcy , I know you are both aware of it anyway ....

Re: Can't cope with the guilt trips & responsibility

Thanks Corn Dog for your words. I read them twice. 

I had a blow up with C and made some demands (respect, manners etc) and surprise surprise, she rang me later and sounded totally sane and calm and cooperative. Let’s see how long it lasts. I think I just have to pull her up EVERY TIME she crosses the line. I hate being put in the authoritarian role. I resigned from that years ago. That was poor ol’ Dad’s job.



Re: Can't cope with the guilt trips & responsibility

How are you going @Corny ?

Re: Can't cope with the guilt trips & responsibility

hello @VeeM , @LittleSister , @Corny , @Darcy , @Faith-and-Hope 

how are you today

Re: Can't cope with the guilt trips & responsibility

I too am dealing with not one but my own mother and my MIL being very passive aggressive towards me the only member of the family who cares enough to care and my husbands MI. Some days I just swing from one to the other. The more I share re the mum situation the more people share with me that they are in a similar situation. It seems to be very widespread. I worked for over 30 yrs in the Aged care sector and saw for myself the interplay of this happening to hundreds of other families. I retired but stepped into the mess myself. Even knowing all I knew I was not prepared for the cruelty and neglect of me as the whipping post for all three. Boundaries need to be respected and very tightly controlled. I have now explained quietly to them “IF YOU HURT ME I CANNOT HELP YOU ANYMORE”. They don’t like it but that’s my rule. It some weird backwards way I am now respected. Go figure. 

Bless and gentle hugs. You are not alone and neither am I. 

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