Lived Experience Forum

[WIP]

@NatureLover 

whoops, I pressed post too early.

There's not too many of us Carlton supporters around unfortunately.  I really miss talking footy with my Dad - he was a Carlton tragic, well an AFL tragic to be honest. He was so knowledgeable & passionate about the Blues. Gee, I could tell you some stories.

I've joined the Carlton Cheer Squad group on FB, just to communicate with others in the lead up to and after a game.  There's some real nutty fanatics in that group, but some who talk real sense & it's interesting to read what they have to say. 

This years season is so higgledy piggledy, but at least us supporters have got a game to watch each week. The AFL, players, club officials etc, etc have just done an extraordinary job to keep the season alive.

Sorry, I've probably come across as a bit of a Carlton nut myself - I promise. I'm not. The footy is just one of few things that I still get enjoyment out of these days. 

[NatureLover]

I'm really glad you get such enjoyment out of Carlton and the footy, @WIP  🙂

I'm about to disappoint you and say that I don't follow the footy closely...it's mainly just a hangover from when I was a child and we were all footy-mad 🙂

[WIP]

There were years that I dropped off too, I was mad Carlton as a kid during our premiership years.

Then later as an adult. It was something that my Dad and I could actually talk about. He was very emotionally withdrawn as a father, & he lived for the football, so I reignited my interest mainly to help our r'ship. But along the way, became very interested and got great enjoyment out of it.

I didn't enjoy the footy at all last year, after Dad passed, it was painful to watch. But I'm better this season, and have a 'little chat' with Dad sometimes during the game when the boys have a good passage of play, or one of our favourites does something good. I must sound a bit loopy saying that.....oh well

[NatureLover]

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@WIP wrote:

But I'm better this season, and have a 'little chat' with Dad sometimes during the game when the boys have a good passage of play, or one of our favourites does something good.

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@WIP  I think that's really great 🙂 And I also like how you got into the footy for your Dad, but ended up getting interested in it yourself.

[Zoe7]

Such positivity in your post despite how hard it has been @WIP Sometimes that positive thinking can be the difference and building on that a little each day can help us to get through. Keep thinking that way and along with many others here I suspect, we all have our fingers crossed that this new med change works. Hugs Hon 

[WIP]

Thanks for your support @Zoe7 

I'm trying to be positive.  Over the past 3 weeks or so, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be positive - the cloud hovering over me, the quicksand I was fighting, just reinforced negativity in my mind.

Having a good nights sleep has made the world of difference. I hope to be able to keep good sleep up.

In regards to new med, something has to work soon. I've had my turn of ones not working & making me worse. It's my turn for something to work. (Well, that's the self talk I've been repeating the past couple of days)

Hope you have a good evening lovely @Zoe7 

[Zoe7]

I know I have told you before but will repeat again tonight @WIP I had around 7 med changes in 2 years and it took that long to find ones that not only worked for me but I went through some extremely tough times with some of them with massive side effects. I cannot remember one day in that time when I did not feel nauseous, faint or suicidal (among other side effects). When we finally found ones that worked it also took months to get to the right combinations and dosages for me to begin to not only feel like I was improving but could actually see that light at the end of the tunnel. So there is hope Hon - keep persisting, it is not easy (at all) but it is possible to find a life that is much better and worth living 

[WIP]

Thanks @Zoe7 

Im sorry it took you so long to find a med mixture that suited you and was effective after a long 2+ years.

Theres no way I will be able to go through this for that long a time. I am a patient person & have had med changes in the past, but nothing as excruciating as this time round. I'm convinced part of the issue is having an antipsychotic added to the mix last year - I never felt 'right' since then.

I'm approaching this week of wash out, with the attitude that there will be ups and downs (this morning is a big down compared to being on y'day). I'm trying to have faith the new med AD med introduced next Wednesday won't be as awful as the previous one I've just stopped. If it does end up being awful, I won't survive - I know it. I barely held on last week. I don't see light or a future, so if I'm given another whack with bad unsuitable medication, I don't see the point.
Day by day.... we'll just have to see what happens & deal with what comes

Hope you have a good weekend @Zoe7 

[Zoe7]

All we can do is take each day as it comes @WIP The past has already gone and the future has not come so today is all we have. Living in the moment and dealing with the here and now can help us to stay grounded even in the worst of times. Do the things you love - hug Levi and enjoy that unconditional love from him. Keep the hope alive that this new med will work but try not to place all the importance of living on it until it happens - hard I know but it got me through some of those tough days ...with support of course from both here and offline - so reach out when you need as we are here with you Hon 

[WIP]

Thanks @Zoe7 

Not a good day today, finding it very difficult to keep hope alive.

Feeling very deflated and lonely. Thanks for the offer of help - appreciate it!  I don't have any outside support, so it's your notes of support that do keep me going some days.

💙