My mother is 61, has very poor physical health due to being a long term heavy smoker and drug user, having had glandular fever and lymph disease while in her 30’s (still suffering from the chronic fatigue), and suffering from extreme forms of orthorexia. Her mental health has always been flimsy, during my childhood she was probably suffering from forms of OCD, she is a full blown narcissist, and for the last 18 years has been battling with an acute case of delusional parisitosis (used to bathe my sister and I in brandy for years thinking that flea bites were caused by a skin mite called demodex that everybody has which is harmless). She has been on a disability pension for the last eight years because the psychiatrist that evaluated her for Centrelink believed she has no capacity to work, which I agree with. My mother refuses all treatment from doctors or medical professionals, siting an occasion when she had a cold sore which because of her being immunosupressed turned into shingles in her eye and resulted in her contracting meningitis, she refused to go to hospital until she could not open her eyes and was admitted for a week on high dose antivirals and other treatments.
Recently her and I had a massive falling out which resulted in me now living with my sister. My sister received treatment that was a lot worse than mine during our childhood. My mother now sees my living with her as us teaming up against her. Regardless of what I try to tell her, this is what she believes.
My mother has also always believed that someone, wether it be a neighbor or family member or stranger, is basically ‘out to get her’. Every police car that drives down the street is casing her, any mail delivered with someone else’s name on it has a secret listening device enclosed, people walking past her house or neighbours in their yards are listening to/watching her. When the staff at the supermarket ask to check her bags quickly she decides they are purposefully targeting her and her alone (she’s been banned from a store for arguing with the staff about this). Whenever family has helped us move house she believed they did so in order to steal belongings.
I went to visit her yesterday, it was noon and she was in bed asleep. The house was a mess with food covered dishes all over the kitchen, her tea kettle had boiled over and boiled dry on the stove and her dog had been relieving herself by the back door for what looked like at least two days.
I noticed a journal open on her bedside table which read the following:
“God loves me, God bless me, God is love, servitude, humility, silence, forgiving, generous, happy, glad and good. I thank the lord, my God Jehova, YHNH, the creator, the universe for my life, my health, my heart and mind, my home, my income, my car, my cream, my Reliv and the internet. I am good, I am love, I am joy, I am abundant, I am prosperous, I am rich, wealthy. With the Lord’s grace my receiving blockages and now dissolved and gone.”
(I took a photo of this journal entry so this is word or word what she has written).
After taking this photo she woke up and we had a conversation regarding different thing, at one point she brought up the stair case in the house which she has found increasingly difficult to live with due to her chronic breathing problems. I said to her “It’s not the stair case that’s a problem, it’s your heavy smoking. And it will only get worse unless you quit and get some bronchodilators from the doctor.”, she replied “No I’ve never been sick and never will be sick. I’m actually getting younger. You can see it in my photos, my wrinkles are going away!”. She has also very bluntly told me that she will never die and is reversing the biological process of aging for herself using homeopathy.
Like I said above, she refuses to see a doctor, even saying Pap smears are a way of doctors getting to see a woman’s vagina. But now, with her self isolating and not looking after her basic daily living, I’m really concerned that she is going to end up either hurting herself or hurting someone else. (She has a long history of being physically abusive/aggressive). But she refuses all assessments from anyone. There was once she attempted suicide when I was 14, I called the police and fire brigade and she was taken to hospital and assessed as not being a danger to herself (so she says, I wasn’t there with her when she was assessed).
I just don’t know what to do to help her. She just won’t see any medical professionals. Last year I had to pay her $200 to have the first Pap smear and bowel screen, which is free for her.
Has anyone had similar experiences? Particularly how have you forced someone to seek help when they don’t want to?
Emergency, police & ambulance (24 Hrs)
Connect with a lifeline crisis supporter (24 Hrs)
Suicide callback service (24 Hrs)
Kids helpline (24 Hrs)
13 YARN