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Something’s not right

Re: Do i tell him he has dementia?

Im honestly over the weather @Smc a few weeks ago we had fire evacuations and warnings and 40 plus heat days and now we have flsh flooding. The last update i seen was weve had just over 300mls of rain since yesterday morning. Its crazy!

Re: Do i tell him he has dementia?

Very. Heart

Re: Do i tell him he has dementia?

@Smc , what you said is very true

when my mum and my MIL tells me thigs I take it like i have heard it for the first times 

mum will tells me things that her sister said at morning tea a few days ago ( i was there too )

sometimes my mum and MIL will be telling me something and then they will say " ohh i told you that , didnt I )

my aunty will tell mum and say she is silly ( I do not like this at all )

@outlander , @Sans911 , @Snowie , @Sophie1 

Re: Do i tell him he has dementia?

@Shaz51, I'm very aware with Dad that the mood set by the conversation outlives the memory of the conversation. If the conversation has been unpleasant, he's left feeling angry or upset or depressed without being able to remember why... not good. Meanwhile, if it's been an enjoyable conversation, he's in a good mood for whatever follows on from it.

Re: Do i tell him he has dementia?

Hi @outlander 

 

You are a community-minded person - being on Fire Watch and Flood Watch - certainly such a person is valued - well done - it is a very good thing to be involved in such a way and is positive for you too

 

Back to your Pop - I remember a maxim I learned once and it goes

 

If there is a choice between right and being kind - be kind

 

You Pop may or not remember what is said to him but I am pretty sure he will remember you being kind - and I know you can't always be - caring for an elder with dementia is a heavy load for a young person

 

One little story about my Dad - who would be turning 100 tomorrow had he still been here. He had been to the dentist and had some work done and kept telling us he'd had three teeth out. My family kept correcting him - he'd had one tooth out and 2 fillings - and I started to feel as if the others were harping on and ignoring Dad's feelings - whatever - I wanted them to stop but also know it's totally useless speaking to any of them

 

So I said "I believe you had three teeth out Dad" - aware that over time he had at least three teeth out at some stage. And he breathed out hard and said "Thank you - thank you" and those were the last words on the subject. It has been horrible for an elderly man near the end of his life having dental work - and maybe considering his age it didn't need to be done - I don't know

 

But we want to be kind - I think that's pretty basic for most people - and it's important to acknowledge how a person feels rather than the harsh llight of the truth sometimes

 

So with your Pop and I know you think hard about these things - rather than keep telling him more than you have to keep tellling him - reassure his feelings. If he is afraid of something or upset, confused or whatever - speak to that - as in

 

"You may think you have dementia Pop - and that's probably upsetting - but we are working on keeping you happy, safe, well, - (mulitple choice words here)

 

Still wishing you the best here

 

Dec

 

 

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