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Something’s not right

Jonty8
Contributor

Don't know how to deal with life. Don't know where to turn.

Hi, 


This is the first time posting here. 

I'm a man in my early 30's and I have social anxiety and quite severe and persistant depression. Up until early October last year, I was living with my Dad. My Dad unfortunately passed away suddenly in hospital. I have very few non-mental health worker supports. My family have pretty much exiled me. The few friends I do have are all significantly older than me and all have quite severe mental health issues themselves and I can't really ask much of them as friends during their bad times (which are often).

My Dad's house, which I have been living in for the past few months since he passed away, now needs to be sold. I've been dealing with my Dad's passing and there are several other things that have been happening with me that I'm not coping with either. I've been unable to get out of bed most days, either haven't been eating at all or just eating junk, have been unable to keep ontop of my household chores, and have generally just been in a massive miserable rut. 

I've been getting significant amounts of pressure from my siblings to hurry up and move out so they can get onto selling it. Because I am on DSP and do not have a rental history, I was particularly concerned that no one would rent to someone like me. The mental health supports and the few friends I have are all in the area that I'm currently living and I'd likely lose my connections with them if I moved out of the area. My social phobia is so severe that it makes stuff like viewings hard also. The result would be that I would become homeless and completely alone and once I was homeless and completely alone, who knows what would happen to me.

With this pressure, I found a place to live a few days ago. I was very anxious at the viewing and my mental health worker came with me to make sure everything would go okay. The place is in the area that I live, but it is very small and the rent is a little bit higher than I would have liked but unfortunately to live where I am it means that the rent will need to be a bit more. I negotiated with the owner that I would sign the lease this coming Monday and that the lease would start on the Friday for six months.

I feel like I acted a bit too hasty and am getting cold feet. It is hard to differentiate between legitimate concerns and my anxieties and negative feelings. Once I sign that lease, I've made a commitment. I don't even feel like I'm in a mental state to make a move. I don't even know where to begin. I've been in bed all day just wanting to cry. Everything is too much for me to deal with. My mental health workers have been great but I see them for 2 hours a week and then the ret of the week I am completely on my own. Loneliness and feeling scared is killing me. 

I'm sorry for this long message. Thanks. 






4 REPLIES 4

Re: Don't know how to deal with life. Don't know where to turn.

Hi @Jonty8 ,

 

Welcome to the forums. You have mentioned that a big struggle you face is lonliness and I wanted to highlight just how brave and strong it is to not only notice that but to be proactive and find other ways to connect with people such as within this forum! 

 

I can understand the confusion around not being sure of legimate concerns vs heavy anxiety. It is good that you have some mental health supports around to help and it sounds like you have explored a solution to your problem but it is a scary step. 

 

Have you found speaking with your mental health supports helpful in working out the best decision for you? We have a lot of members who have dealt with some difficult times like this and I am sure you will find a lot of connections here. 

 

Feel free to use the search bar at the top to find other topics and threads and join into any of them as well. 👍🏼

 

 

Re: Don't know how to deal with life. Don't know where to turn.

@Jonty8  Jonty8 yu have really moved me with your posting. I cannot talk now but will be on later. Don't despair you are not alone you have friends here on SANE. greenpeaxxxx

Re: Don't know how to deal with life. Don't know where to turn.

@Jonty8  Hi Jont8 firstly I wanted to say how sorry I am about your father's passing it must be devestating for you :(. Nothing I can say will make the pain of that go away .... I just want you to know that I care. 

 

I know moving at the best of times is super stressful so moving now with all that you are coping with must be very hard to cope with. Take things one step at a time. I think you are doing brilliantly under such circumstances. Soon you will be in your own place and independent. Everything will be ok. We are here to talk to day and night. Just have a look around the boards and see which thread you like the best :).

 

Oh and btw if you are posting to someone in particular put a @infront of their name like I did for you as they will be notified of your post. Take care and see you around the forums 🙂

Re: Don't know how to deal with life. Don't know where to turn.

Jonty you are really brave ...hang in there..

After reading your post it makes me feel fortunate that I do not have the same challenges that you are going through....

 

It is hard when people put pressure on you to sell the house ...it's  a lot to deal with

 

Is there a way that you could get more hours of support from your mental health workers?

Or are there any support groups near where you are?

 

I hope things work out in the end

 

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