Lived Experience Forum

[Gypsy7]

Well I rang a worker who gave their number for this weekend for me to ring in crisis. See doc Monday. Racing high and low fluctuating hours apart. So I'm feeling ok and positive and hours later have suicidal thought. I'm safe til Monday. It helped. But tommorow is the test but present moment I'm ok just the lows make me go how did I get there again.

[Mazarita]

Hi @Gypsy7, so glad to hear you are seeing the GP on Monday. Yes, it does sound like quite a rollercoaster you are travelling with your moods at the moment. I too have Bipolar 1. One thing that helps me with it at difficult times is to remember, that however awful the mood feels at the time, it is likely to be temporary. In the case of what you are experiencing right now, maybe very temporary. So when you get to the low points, really try to remember not to do anything rash at that moment. You will feel better again before too long. So good to hear you are safe until Monday. 

[Gypsy7]

Thank you in a low but racing mind ATM. So much has gone on recently I'm dealing with. And don't have Physcologist appt til 22nd. I do have networks of support in place. Before I got ill and before kids I was a youth worker and artist. Haven't drawn great deal since ect. But haven't felt like hypo racy fast loss of appetite etc since 2014. Oh well. I'm not looking forward to the long night ahead nothing I trying is working. I self harmed the other day and I'm not proud I hadn't cut much before twice in my teens. Triggered. Melancholy

[Mazarita]

Relaxation, even when melancholy, sometimes feels good to me. I know it can be hard to do at times like this, but I find focussing on the breath can help me through some moods. I put together little videos as a creative expression. I don't self harm except in roundabout ways, kind of on the threshold. I'm probably in a bit of denial about it really. You might find that there are some members around overnight. I tend to go to sleep before midnight and then wake up in the middle of the night, wide awake for a while (sometimes until dawn). It's better the nights when that doesn't happen. Maybe you might be able to channel some of the hypo racy energy into creativity. Maybe some drawing? Even more basic like doodles or shapes can be engaging. I'm in a community art group. Can't draw to save myself but I like making abstract colours and textures with paint. We do it to music. Anyway, hope the night is better than expected for you.

@Gypsy7

[Gypsy7]

I'm actually an artist. But recent events and depression that ceased. I can't properly as I have shakes and can't concentrate . I did some mindfulness on you tube and I got relaxing music now on my stereo. I'm an illustrator not professionally and an expressionist mostly. I'm illustrating a children's book well at start if it for kids living without their mum. I'm dedicating it to my sons but it's aimed at early primary.

[Mazarita]

Awesome things you have going already, @Gypsy7. 

[Gypsy7]

Thank u. Feeling very positive hope I don't enjoy it too much before Monday I have housemate. He goes to bed at 7.

[Mazarita]

@Gypsy7, I'll be going to bed soon. Have already taken my meds a while ago and feeling the first bout of sleepiness setting in. Try to sleep if you can too. Night.

[Shaz51]

@Gypsy7, how did you going my friend