Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[ajw22]

Hi all - first time poster here. I am looking for some help / support because my family and I are at our wits end and dont know what to do. Basic history: - my stepfather was diagnosed with bipolar as a teenager after a traumatic childhood. I recall him having a few manic episodes when I was a teenager and in my 20s but for most of his life he has been treated fairly successfully with Lithium. About 6 years ago, he suffered from lithium toxicity and nearly died from renal failure. After that, he could no longer be treated with Lithium and had to stop working. Since then, things have gotten worse and worse every year. He had knee reconstruction surgery about 18 months ago and in the aftermath of that was hospitalised for about 4 weeks with delusions and hallucinations. Since then, he has never really recovered and has suffered from horrible anxiety, depression and delusions. Last week (after what we can now see has been building up for months) he had a full psychotic break which resulted in him going missing for 3 days and finally (after we found him about 100km away in a terrible state) he was hospitalised and placed under an involuntary treatment order. So the result is - he is now scheduled at a public hospital an hours drive for my mum and my family to visit and we have no idea what is going to happen. He improved for a little bit but has since gone back into the psychotic state. He normally lives with my mum and she cares for him and tries (unsuccessfully) to lead a normal life - but we are so confused about what the next posisble steps are from here. We hate seeing him like this and feel so helpless! I also hate seeing my mum have to go through this and cope with the uncertainty - and now having to drive an hour there and back every day to see him. Some general support / advice / kind words would be most welcome! Thanks in advance x

[SleepyPanda]

Hi @ajw22

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story.

At this stage the hospital is the safest place for your step father until his mood and medications are stabilised and hopefully they provide him and your family the support services you require.

It is important that your mother is supported and local support groups may help here.

The following members have similar experiences and maybe able to shares their views - @Mazarita  @Eden1919 Hubby21_Dad23 @greenpea

Take Care

SleepyPanda

[Former-Member]

Hi @ajw22

I can certainly empathise with you and your mum. Pre BPii diagnosis husband went walkabout on a few occasions ending up in hospital as an involuntary patient a couple of times. A very confusing and emotionally difficult time.

As for what will happen, there should have been a treatment plan set out in the mental health tribunal paperwork, but it is likely the goal of the treating team will be to stabilize sDad and get him on maintenance treatment. How they go about it varies from patient to patient.

Am I assuming rightly that your Mum is sDad's primary carer and that he has given permission for her to be informed? Does he usually involve her in his treatment? As his 'responsible person' the treating team have obligations under the mental health charter to provide her with information about his ongoing care and treatment. If ECT is considered they will have to apply to the mental health tribunal for this. As an involuntary patient free legal representation is available and I urge you to avail yourself of this. The mental health act for your state or territory is readily available on line and it pays to familiarize yourself with this.

When your mum sees the pdoc it is important that she asks about the treatment being given, the risk vs benefit and what "red flags" to watch for. There are a number of mood stabilisers available, all with varying degrees of efficacy, it can be trial and error. Don't be afraid to speak up and ask questions. There is a feeling of powerlessness when a treatment order is in place, this does not exempt the treating team from communicating adequately with you, it is well documented though, that if a carer is properly informed and included that the outcome for the patient is better. Understanding why a drug is needed helps with compliance and it may be that your mum might be asked to dispense sDad's meds. Mum might be the one that needs to speak up about side effects too, my Mr D had sexual dysfunction with one drug but was too embarrassed to say anything even though he was terribly upset about it so I had to speak up.

Dealing with this on ones own is difficult and thankfully there are mental health support services for carers that are available . Carers Australia and Wellways are two groups that offer carer support and psych education. The Qld govt website http://mhr4c.com.au is also helpful even if you are not in Qld.

Please feel free to ask any questions you would like to.

Darcy

[ajw22]

Hi Darcy - thanks so much for you reply. Yep mum is his primary carer and presumably she has been noted as the 'responsible person'. They have not had much interaction with doctors and hospital staff over the weekend so hopefully they will be able to get some more information this week. Mum has been dealing with this for many years and her tendancy is to just go with the flow in terms of treatment however i will encourage her (and I will help her) get up to speed with treatment options and the Mental Health Act etc. We will see what this week brings! Thanks for the carer support info we are really trying to encourage mum to involve herself in some sort of support group or community as it is a long and lonely path she has been down and I worry for her own health as well as his! Thanks again for the support x

[Former-Member]

Hope it goes ok @ajw22

Please let your mum know it is ok to ask questions and if she feels that communication is inadequate to speak up and ask for an appointment to speak to pdoc.

[Former-Member]

Hey @ajw22
How are things going?

[ajw22]

Thanks for checking in Darcy! He is still scheduled in hospital and having ECT. He has improved but still seems to have a long road ahead of him. I guess what worries my family and I is what happens after he is released from hospital? I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it. He’s safe now, and Mum is getting a break which she really needs.

[Former-Member]

Whilst a hospital visit gives a bit of respite, as you are aware, there are ongoing concerns @ajw22 cannot stress enough how important communication is, esp in relation to meds, when reviews are to happen etc. Hope Mum can link in with carer support too, please encourage her to do do, makes a heap of difference.

[Shaz51]

hello @ajw22, @Former-Member

How is things @ajw22 

[Former-Member]

Checking in to see how you are going @ajw22