Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Smeggles]

My mum is battling depression and refuses to seek help I've tried EVERYTHING to help tried to talk to all sorts of professionals to help me to understand this terrible disease and try to help her but I feel so helpless and I'm so worried about mums health and it's affecting my whole family she's pushing me away my dad away and has isolated herself from all of her friends please someone tell me how I can get the help she so desperately needs .

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Smeggles

Its good that you hav Rachel out here ... stay with us while you keep reaching out for help, because it is just as important that you receive support and understanding for yourself ..... and you will find that here.

Have you tried your gp ?  Even if they can't help directly with your mum, they can take measures to support you, which in turn may lead to helping your mum.  The gp will likely have info about services to support your dad as well.

Here is one way to contact the moderators of this site -

@NikNik @CherryBomb @suzanne

Even if these particular people are not on shift, the contact is picked up by others.  They can direct you further, but stay around .... once people respond to your post, they receive email notifications when the thread is used, so the contact builds ....

Take care

🌷

[Mosaic]

Hi @Smeggles welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing.

It sounds like you're facing a very frustrating situation at the moment - trying to get your mum help yet she refuses to engage with your suggestions. It can be very tricky to convince someone to seek support for their mental health, especially when they have a tendency to isolate themselves.

I know many other members on the Carers Forum can relate to your circumstances. Fellow member @Tarnia is facing a similar predicament in convincing her mum, who's struggling with depression (and possibly dementia) to seek support. You can read more about her situation here. @querentxyz also cares for their mother, and has talked about her non-compliance to treatment here. @ngreen21 has talked about her mother cutting off contact here so I'm sure could relate to your situation too. @Squirrel101 is also struggling to convince their brother to seek help, and is feeling unsure where to turn next. Fellow members feel free to jump in with any wisdom or support for @Smeggles.

Echoing what @Faith-and-Hope said, one thing you can control is the support you put in place for yourself right now. You're important in this sitation too. Do you have anyone that you can confide in about all that's happening for your mum? As your new friends - we are here for you too 🙂

Take care.

[lostinspace]

hi i sit on both sides of the fence just thought is if you think your mum be looking at hurting herself or someone else you came speak to her GP and see if he would do a emergence evaluation order on her which means hes has to see psychic doctor it may sound harsh but it will help in log run I safer myself with major recurring depression it was my partner speaking up to my GP that started my road to recovery

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Smeggles,

It can feel like a helpless situation when your mum is not wanting to get help. It's good that you've started to look into support yourself though. Just because your mum is not wanting help, doesn't mean that you can't get the ball rolling by reaching out for your support yourself. This is not to suggest that you're unwell, but getting support for yourself can help you to develop some strategies to help your mum, and it can also help you manage the stress that comes along with caring for your mum.

May I ask how long have things been like this? Has she received a formal diagnosis of depression?

@Faith-and-Hope mentioned, please use this service to connect with others and share what's going on for you. 

[Smeggles]

Hey there
Yeh I think it important to keep myself healthy and I've been trying to do a lot of research to try and understand how she maybe feeling and how I can help her but they say I can't help her until she admits there is a problem and wants to seek help. I have had to do some sly things myself as she's lied to me about dr appointments she told me had to talk about her problems so I called her dr and told him of her situation incase she told him she was fine ect and he did organise a evaluation but she still hasn't been formally diagnosed which concerns me I think she's telling them she's fine when she's not and and there isn't anything I can do. My mum has been going through this say about a year and a half