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cjbr-4c14br
New Contributor

How to best support my family

Hello, 

I need advice about how to best support my family. 

My mother was diagnosed with depression and a number of anxiety orders a few years ago. She takes medication, and used to receive regular counselling but has since halted her treatment. 

My father has never been diagnosed or sought any kind of support, and immediately shuts down any conversation about mental health – he has a violent temper (parents are now divorced), severely isolates himself, is quite irrational and paranoid. 

My brother has very low self-esteem, is severely underweight and has also never been diagnosed or seeks any kind of support. His perception of his physical body has raised some red flags (obsessively working out and dieting, radical changing of his appearance). 

The real reason I am writing however is my sister. She is 21; she dropped out of high school and lives in a granny flat with my mum and step father, but has really left the house, has no friends, has not interacted with anyone outside of our immediate family for approximately 6 years. She used to be severely overweight, but has lost a lot of weight in the past two years. This week, unknown to the family, she ordered surgical equipment online in an effort to reshape her ears, and she ended up cutting one of her ears off. After this incident she has finally agreed to talk to some health care professionals.

Everything seems to have come to a head this year. My family all live in North Queensland, I live in Brisbane. I am wondering if I should move up north to be closer to them, and try to support them in a more meaningful way than I can being so far away. Any advice, or direction to other organisations where I can learn more would be very appreciated.

Thank you.

3 REPLIES 3
Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: How to best support my family

Hello @cjbr-4c14br,

I'm Garfield, one of the moderators. I just wanted to welcome you to the forum. This is a great way to get support and information from other forum members.

Please read Community Guidelines for your information.

Kind regards

Garfield

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: How to best support my family

Hello @cjbr-4c14br

Sounds like there is a lot happening in your family.  I cannot begin to understand what must be going through your mind.  Was your sister taken to hospital in relation to her ear? Was the cause of injury given truthfully? Getting her to agree to help might be very difficult. 

None of us can tell you if you should move to be closer to your family, MI is a long hard road that puts a strain on even the most resilient of us.  My personal thoughts, learn about the illnesses your family are facing and then decide although without a diagnosis this might be difficult. I suspect you are thinking that your brother and sister might have eating disorders, I do not know anything about them except that ED patients are at high risk.

Can I give you a couple of links that you and your mum might find helpful.

1) When mental illness enters a family

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRO0-JXuFMY

It would be really helpful for you to document the observations under these headings in readiness for any appointment.

2)Anogsognosia: also called "lack of in sight," is a symptom of severe mental illness experienced by some that impairs a person's ability to understand and perceive his or her illness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lstn6WNnCRc

3) Carer support: Vital 

http://mhr4c.com.au/

4) Queensland mental health act:  It might be that the only way your sister will get help is by being admitted as an involuntary patient and it is important that you understand what this means.  It is not an easy thing but sometimes necessary.

https://www.health.qld.gov.au/clinical-practice/guidelines-procedures/clinical-staff/mental-health/a...

Darcy

 

This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. What must families know if they have a loved one with a mental illness? In his talk, Dr. Lloyd Sederer discusses the four things we all must know to help those who may be struggling around us. Lloyd I ...

Re: How to best support my family

Thank you for those links. Yes, she was taken to hospital. As far as I'm aware the reason was given truthfully, but I don't know if it was spoken about her history up until this point. This all happened just over 48 hours ago, so I am still sorting through everyone's accounts, including my sister. Professionals that we have spoken to in the past have said that she definitely needs to see someone to talk with, but the struggle is getting her to agree, and unfortunately it has now built to this; it all makes me feel so very sick and sad. I will take some time to read/watch the content you posted now. Thanks again for the message.

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