Lived Experience Forum

[BronH]

What I do with my anger is really causing me problems. What I do with it is largely to supress or repress it. It blocks my relationships and emerges as a manic mood when there is too much of it. I can write this very clearly but there is nothing much clear about how to learn to do it differently. I just stuff it away. My thoughts are that I must grab the anger/hurt when it is fresh, feel the pain and let it go. It's a plan but my insides never seem to be that focussed. Any other supressers about? Like to hear your experiences.

[Appleblossom]

Same here. I used to really bad, but last few years I can usually tell if I am angry within a day or 2.  Still not quick on giving an immediate verbal response, but keeping my mouth moving with singing, so one day when it all connects up in real time. I will be able to.

@BronH 

[BronH]

Thanks for your reply @Appleblossom  It's always very supportive to find somone who is a bit further down the track.

[Appleblossom]

I was taught by a psychologist in 1983 that I had to get in touch with my anger more.  It has been a work in progress for a looooong time.  

@BronH 

[greenpea]

@BronH @Appleblossom  Hi BronH and Appleblossom for me the only thing that works is the magic medication. Without it or if I take a bit less (as I hate the effects it has on my body) I can feel the anger well in my chest. Now I am calm until I go and mess with my meds again .... live and learn. peaxx

ps: and sleep. If I get a good nights sleep I am much calmer hence more medications ....

[Appleblossom]

Medication can blunt our ability to distinguish between different feelings, and in that way overuse interferes with healing.  It can be a fine line and should be walked with good professional help.  To be free to experience my own natural energy and curiosity and enthusiasm has been important.  Some of those feelings may overlap with anger and they all have different outcomes in terms of understanding life and quality of life.  I am often looking at emotional wheels, trying to understand my life and those of my family and others around me.  There are other uncomfortable feelings like grief and existential pain. It always seemed more important to me to get to the bottom of what is really going on, rather than pick out anger as a bad emotion and demonise it and medicate it away.  I use my meds mainly to help sleep and relax me more than anger regulation.  I might use digging in the garden or walking for release of over the top anger and journal about it.   There was not that much explicit anger in my family growing up, nor was there strong arguments against it. I married into a family where anger was sanctioned and boy did it produce a lot of passive aggression, which was deeply destructive in my personal life.  Anyway that my 2 bobs worth.

[Maggie]

@BronH  I use the phrase implode not explode. I’ve alway held it in. Only got in touch a few years back. Still working out what’s happening, when and why.

All the best with what you discover within.

[frog]

Wow @BronH your post resonated with me.

I have struggled for a long time, but had an interesting recent experience.

Although I think the word has been hijacked and overused in the media, I had what I would definitely charectorise as a triggering experience.

It took me 8 hours of rage to work through, but I managed to do so without doing damage. When I talked to my psych about it he helped me see that I stayed aware of everything that I was experiencing in mind/body/spirit and let it run without letting it spill over into acting in anger (don't get me wrong, I ranted in safe spaces, but managed not to do anything I regret).

It has taken many, many years for me to experience this, and I hope I can build on it, but I don't feel at all confident in dealing with anger.