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Kin
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I’m not sure what to do about my controlling father that is displays very narcissistic qualities

My father has been living with me for the best part of 5 years after he lost the house acquired from his divorce with my mother. Gradually over the past 3 years he has become very controlling to the point that even others say it is like he thinks I’m his wife. If he is unhappy, he will ensure we are too. He had a significant amount of money after the bank sold his house, however he never paid any bills or offered to pay me rent. He has gambled regularly the entire time. I have Lupus and a few other chronic illnesses. It seems the control started after I spent a significant period in hospital and nearly died. He was looking after my young son and my home. Now he is out of money completely and sits in the corner mumbling in disapproval even if my son and I speak. He despises my son and I think it is because I love him. His mother has had a history of mental illness and his brother is bi-polar. My mother told me he was mentally ill, I just took it as a bad divorce. I’m genuinely concerned that this is much worse than a man with a gambling problem. He ran out of money completely and his behavior is deteriorating by the day, I don’t think he realizes that this is unacceptable behavior. I am through with him but confronting him is another issue. Normally when confronted with any truth he turns it into my wrongdoing.

2 REPLIES 2

Re: I’m not sure what to do about my controlling father that is displays very narcissistic qualities

@Kin Hi Kin and welcome to the forums Smiley Happy. I am sorry you are having so much difficulty with your father (I had a difficult father too). Personally I think you are right it is time for your father to move out. As you say you have alot on your plate with your own health issues and that of your son. 5 years is along time and by the sounds of it you have supported him well and it is time he stood on his own two feet again. I think the first thing is to get him assessed by your trusted gp. He might have a mental illness that needs medication and further help with a psychologist for example. Seeing your doctor would be a good start even if it is by yourself first as I can imagine it won't be easy getting your father there.

 

I wish you luck and let us know how you are going. ps: if you want to talk to someone inparticular put a @ in front of their name like I did for you and that will notify them that you have sent a post.

 

 

Re: I’m not sure what to do about my controlling father that is displays very narcissistic qualities

Hi @Kin,

Welcome to the forums Smiley Happy That sounds like a really difficult situation at home and I can hear your dad's behaviour is pretty controlling and unacceptable, that must be tough for you and your son to live with. It's understandable you're wondering about whether mental illness is part of what is happening for your dad and great you're starting to think about where to from here both for yourself, your son, and for him. I hope you find the forums a supportive place while you're dealing with this and I'll echo @greenpea in saying let us know how you're going with this if you feel up to it Smiley Happy

Take care,

Tortoiseshell

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