Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[PeppiPatty]

G'day, You all know me here as @PeppyPatti,

I've had a break because my husband has been needing me and last week began logging on again. Since then, my husband has changed for the negative. It's been scary. Esp. after all the hard work he has done. He's been furious in that he cannot access alcohol as easily or drugs because part of our deal of continuing our relationship was to stop his bad behaviour. He went into Coles today yelling at staff and ordering them around with a friend of ours. 

He has been yelling at me calling me a F #$%^&^% B $%^&^ and yelling at me if I call him or speak to him..........

It all seems to be centred around him feeling he's got no freedom be being with me. But it's scaring me and though I beg him to stop. He is'nt. 

He pulled up the handbrake when I was driving.

Does anyone have anything to contribute to my dillema  ? 

[Mazarita]

Hi @PeppiPatty, just happened to see this message on this side of the forum. So sorry you are going through this. It sounds like your husband may be relapsing. Does he have regular doctor and psychiatrist? It seems like it would be best to contact them if possible. Have there been other things in the past that you have done to deal with such episodes with him? Again, so sorry you are going through this. Big hugs to you. ox

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Mazarita,

I think that I need some pionters on that word 'relapsing.' Is his behaviour from alcoholism or is he relapsing? He has asked me to take him to the hospital to get his injection so when this is happening, I can speak to someone while he is getting the injection ?? 

[Mazarita]

Hi @PeppiPatty, I think whether it's from his mental illness on its own or in combination with alcohol, there is a relapse going on. This means he is getting sicker. I think if you can speak to someone at the hospital about it, that would be a good idea. I hope you and your husband get through this time without too many bumps and difficulties. Again, sorry you are going through this. Big hugs your way. ox

[PeppiPatty]

okay @Mazarita Im taking your advice and hopping over to his Psych team pretending to get to work today. We went to get his injection and I softly spoke to someone I knew who worked in his Psych team and so they all knew that I was concerned of his wellbeing. Im going  there and leaving a note outlinging  my concerns.

It is so hard because :

I care so much for my wellbeing more than ever. 

He is very manipultive.

He will be very shocked and horrified when he settles down on how he has treated me but its' like.......I've signed in, this is my responsibility and as long as I stay calm and non drama queenish.......we can get through. 

[Former-Member]

@PeppiPatty
Sending you hugs. As a carer you have a right to be heard. This is a link to WA carer charter.


https://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://www.kemh.health.wa.gov.au/brochures/c...

[Former-Member]

Hi @PeppiPatty
How are you going? Been thinking of you.
D

[Mazarita]

Hi @PeppiPatty, just adding another voice to the question, how are you going? Like @Former-Member, I've been thinking about you. I'm hoping things have improved with your husband. 

[Appleblossom]

Sorry to hear BB is being naughty @PeppiPatty

However I dont believe you need to ACCEPT that it is ALL your responsibility. 

He is not a 10 year old and the hand brake stunt is DUMB.

Being his offsider at a depot in ject appointment .. is insufficient support for that sort of thing.

Have you seen the film Copenhagen?  It shows a young girl being beautifully WISE for her age ... and helping an older guy GROW UP.

I would think you were justified for not driving him or being his chauffeur if he ever dares play that number on you again.

He can walk or get PT for his needle and food etc.  Tough Love Needed Here.

If he does it at home ... you can buy him a tent.  He has had a privilged life and needs to learn to act his age.

Thinking it is what you have signed up for is possibly co-dependant.