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Something’s not right

Queenie
Community Elder

I think I've been massively triggered!

Crying here right now. I don't know why he doesn't love me? He used to when I was a little girl. He doesn't want anything to do with me.

Why does he promise me things and never come through on them? He promised me to meet up tomorrow, but he didn't didn't specify where or when. Now he isn't coming. I don't get a single Christmas greeting from any member of my family.

That makes me cry. Why do they hate me so much?

15 REPLIES 15

Re: I think I've been massively triggered!

I'm so sorry @Queenie. I feel for you. Sending you love. I'm here for you.

Re: I think I've been massively triggered!

He forgot my birthday @utopia, now he has forgot me at Christmas.

I am a non-person to him. Just Sht beneath his shoe.

Re: I think I've been massively triggered!

That's bloody hard @Queenie. Has he always been like this?

Re: I think I've been massively triggered!

@Queenie Oh Queenie I had a dud for a dad ... it has really marked me with men and trust so I am so sorry. You cannot change him, I tried but it has to come from him and by the sounds of it there is too much water under the bridge for that to happen. In a way far better that you know ... you dont want to live a lie.

The best thing I did was not see my dad and/or made visits limited. As for your family my sister has disowned me, I only see my mother. You have a great partner and her family are wonderful. They are not family if they make you feel like shit ... or should I say they are not faily that you want around you if they make you feel luck shit.

xx

Re: I think I've been massively triggered!

@utopia, He has been like this ever since he married my Mother's sister. He has been cold and distant since I was 12 years old. He doesn't understand that when I was 12 was the first time I openly felt like I was better off dead. I told him I wanted to die and he laughed at me and my now aunt/stepmother emotionally abused me and neglected me.

Before my Father got re-married, he was a nice loving man towards me and we had a good Father/Daughter relationship. I was okay back then, even if I was seen as 'eccentric'. 

@greenpea you are so right, I cannot change him. He is under the influence of my stepmother/aunt. Sadly it is a case of she says jump, he says how high. 

I apologise for taking so long to answer these posts, I was crying pretty hard and had to go hide from my Mrs (I snapped at her which she didn't deserve and for that I am really feeling quite bad). I apologised to my Mrs, but I shouldn't let it eat at me the way it does. 

Re: I think I've been massively triggered!

@Queenie My mother would joke not to cry as it will give you lines lol! Don't cry over him it is his loss ... just promise me you will give your missus your credit and debit cards tonight please Smiley WinkHeart

Re: I think I've been massively triggered!

Oh I will @greenpea I promise. I will only go out with gift cards I've been given. That way, I won't be spending any money.

My Mother would be horrified if she were still alive. I know she wouldn't want me upset either.

Re: I think I've been massively triggered!

Re: I think I've been massively triggered!

So sorry for your pain @Queenie. His loss, he has lot the privilege of his daughter's company and love. More fool he. Feel the healing love of those who truly care who are there for you, who are worthy of you 💜

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