Skip to main content
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Something’s not right

Gypsy7
Senior Contributor

Melancholic and fragile

Got my beanie on
It's a comfort thing
Been drawing all night and cleaning mixed state is crazy.
Saw my sons yesterday
Miss them like crazy
9 years
For whose concern is it anymore
Rights of the child
Rights for a mum
Just want that day when this seperation and control over.
Beanie on
Comfy couch
Bit frazzled and numb at same time.
Moments I'm close to tears
Moments I'm angry with no release
Moments I'm courageous
Moments I'm scared shitless
Keep on by NF in my mind
Good song if you have the time
Least today no suicidal thoughts
Relief for a while.... Hoping anyway
Bipolar and PTSD suck
It's consumed me these last few years
After my physchotic episode for 6 months in2014
Least I got great unit now.
A home finally
Lay By a trundle captains bed
A hopeful purchase
For my sons
And guests
Pray my sons get to stay with me
Before they grow all up.
No one promises
No suffering
No grief of the loss of being an active mum.
I yearn to be with them, for them .
I yearn to give them the best.
But im left with no clue about home with their Dad and what it's like.
Questions haunt me sometimes.
Like is it dust free for Joshua's asthma.
Do they have nice bedding
Are they getting healthy meals
Not just take out and processed
Lots of questions.. Unanswered
Leaves me limp
And empty with helplessness
To tuck them into bed
Our time together has and is being stolen from us.
By my ex
Their Dad
Backed by courts and police and docs
That I'm too crazy to have the children see me unsupervised
Corrupt state here
No bullshit
I wish I was just paranoid then I could get a pill and see sense
But truth is what's happening and has in past 9 years
Is discrimination and pure stigmatising myself
And my children raised without a mothers love near to them
But I must keep on keeping on
Hope and pray
Stay sane as much as I can
Tiny steps
And dream one day this wrongful separation comes to an end.

1 REPLY 1

Re: Melancholic and fragile

I'm sorry to read you are apart from your children @Gypsy7. I'm not a mother myself, so can only imagine the pain you feel about not having them with you. 

It is interesting that you have your beanie on. When I am distressed (whether it is Summer or Winter) I put on a beanie to feel better. It's definitely a comfort thing for me too.

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance