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Something’s not right

Casual Contributor

Partner with Paranoia

Hi I have been with my partner for 12 years. Looking back I think he has had problems the whole time but now they are getting worse. He used to blame everyone for setting out to grt him and now he is blaming me. Examples include arranging for gay couples to sit next to us at restaurants, organising who sits next to jim on planes so that they annoy and stress him out, organising the shop he bought a tv from so that the indtalling technician could monitor what he is watching. He is getting worse. He had booked in to see a GP to talk about how stressed he gets when these issues arise but has now pushed appointment out for another 3 weeks. Tonight he has made more accusations saying i am deliberately causing him stress by lying. I am actually scared of him now. We have been in separate rooms for about 2 months now. I really care and worry about him but am unsure how much more I can take. I think I need to leave. Is this a bad thing to do?

Not applicable

Re: Partner with Paranoia

Hi @Ahsirt

Your partner's behaviour does sound bizarre and he may be having a psychotic episode. With your partner putting off seeking medical assistance and not being adequately assessed and/or treated/medicated it may continue to get worse and out of control. Your partner needs urgent assessment. Its not good for him or for you to live feeling frightened. It may be a good idea to ring the Mental Health Emergency response line and or mental health crisis lines in your state/area and tell them exactly the situation to gain the most appropriate advice as what is the best course of action asap. Others may have some more ideas of what to do in this situation and will post soon. 

Please keep safe and let us know how you get on.

Re: Partner with Paranoia

Hi Enigma thanks for your response. He belives that he isjust under a lot of stress that is now all caused by me. He does not believe he has a mental health issue and nor does he believe he should be taking any medication. Th GP he is meant to be booked in to see specialises in stress and he said a few weeks back that once he saw him he'd be better in a few weeks. I have not seen or spoken to him since last night so he is still probably pretty angry at me. He has told me - twice in the last 2 weeks that he is worried that he will self harm even though he does not want to. If I phoned an Emergency line he would go through the roof. I am so scared and worried.

Re: Partner with Paranoia

What a truly stressful experience @Ahsirt How have things been going for you and your husband? 


It's good to know that you can acccess services anonymously to help you to make sense of how to support your husband. Services like Lifeline 13 11 14 are available 24/7 and they can support you and your husband in a crisis. Another useful option can be to make an appointment with your GP to get their wisdom on supporting your husband too. 


You have a right to feel safe at home too. If you're feeling scared of your husband and want to speak with somebody about these feelings, you can also reach out to 1800RESPECT


Oh and you may have noticed that I moved your post across to this part of the forum. I thought it might help to have it here in order to connect with a bit of support. 


Do drop in and let us know how you're going if you're feeling up it. Take care 🌻

Re: Partner with Paranoia

Hi thanks for your message. Things have gotten worse. This is all just so hard but I guess there are others worse off than me. We are still in the same house. Trying to sell and now it is all my fault again. I just want to move on.   

Re: Partner with Paranoia

What a truly stressful experience @Ahsirt , checking in to see how you are today xx, hope you are ok

Re: Partner with Paranoia

@Ahsirt, are you ok , checking in to see how you are Heart

Re: Partner with Paranoia

Hi Shaz yeah I'm okay and thanks for checking.  I am making plans to move out and have spoken to Women's Legal Service on what I need to do in relation to the mortgage etc.  I am concerned about my ex partner though.  I am unsure what he will do and he has no friends.  We do not speak and all communication is in writing in an attempt to avoid any future accuations.  I was thinking that I might talk to a GP he seems to have visited (I found a prescription for anti depresants) and let him know the extent of his illness.  I am aware that the GP cannot tell me anything and I am unsure if he will ever go back and see him, but I feel I need to let someone know how unwell he actually is.  Do you think this is something I should do?

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