Lived Experience Forum

[STORMGRL101]

After another dissociation episode last week at my new psychologists office which ended up me going to hospital and staying a few days I just feel sooo depressed and scared. I really really want to end my life and tonight my care worker is coming to see me at home. I really want to be honest with her and show her my plan but I'm scared of what she will do or say. Im tired of this mess I'm sick of feeling this way 😭

[Bubbles3]

hi @STORMGRL101

im sorry that you are feeling this way

are you scared of going back into hospital

[Queenie]

I'm sorry to hear this @STORMGRL101. I think you should be honest with your worker and let them know how you are thinking and feeling. Remember, we're all here to support you too.

[STORMGRL101]

Thanks @Queenie @Bubbles3

i think i will be honest with her because she's the only one who I know I can tell anything to in regards to my mental health. I feel like a terrible person. I've got the how, the where just not the when..yet. I need help

[Bubbles3]

well you can talk on any time @STORMGRL101

we are here to help

[Former-Member]

Hi @STORMGRL101

It is frightening when depression hits so hard. Please know you are not alone in this. I am glad your care worker is coming to see you - support at the right time. Don't be scared to tell her how you are feeling as suppressing it will not get you the help you need. Even tell her you are scared of what she may say or do. She will do what is best and will get you through this dark period. Trust her.

Hang on my friend - moment to moment as depression can lift and there is hope. Always hold onto the latter as it will see you through to better times. We are here for you 🌹

[NatalieS]

Sending kind thoughts your way @STORMGRL101

Please believe @Former-Member @Bubbles3 @Queenie and myself, we are here to support you. Please tell your care worker how you feel-I realise this can be terrifying as when I'm feeling cr...p I tend to put on a smiling face and say everything's just peachy because I don't want anyone to know how much I'm hurting-because she wants to assist you. She will not judge.

Have to go now as I need to call a counsellor..but I am thinking of you.  Lots of virtual hugs.

[STORMGRL101]

Thanks for the support 

it went ok, she is going to talk to the psychiatrist and book me in for review and look at doing ECT. She thinks i need something else as well as psychology and I've tried lots of medications but it's not helping.

i hope I can get an appointment asap

[Phoenix_Rising]

It sounds like telling your care worker was a good decision for you @STORMGRL101. I super hope that your treatment team are able to figure out how best to help you with the depression.

I am curious about your comment that you feel like a terrible person. What makes you think you are a terrible person? You don't need to answer if you don't want to.

[Queenie]

I've had ECT and found it really helpful @STORMGRL101. It sounds scary, I know, but it works for some reason. It worked miracles for me and I've seen help so many. I'm sure your treating team want what's in your best interests and want to support you in your journey to recovery.