Lived Experience Forum

[Define_normal]

Just to help you know why there is a trigger warning I was sexually abused from a very young age and I mean it started when I was well under 5years old till I was 19. I still struggle immensely but for some reason I find some things easier to say in the forums I use rather than to my psych. Please proceed with caution when reading while it will be to community guidelines I can't promise it won't be triggering.

Content/trigger warning

Throughout my childhood I had 8 abusers and lately I've been having dreams and flashbacks about all them but not about the abuse but rather a line that each and everyone of them said, "Do you like it". And it hadn't occurred to me that it was triggering till 2 weeks ago when a friend said the same exact line after opening a gift they had given me it was suddenly like the world stopped and all my abusers were standing around me saying the words over and over again. I started to panic, fortunately my friend was one of the few people who know about my abuse and knew how to calm my panic attacks but it took me awhile to explain what brought it on. But since then flashbacks and nightmares/nigh terrors have everyday and frequent I don't know what to do. Why does one little line have such a big effect on me.

[outlander]

hi @Define_normal
im sorry i dont have much advice but i can relate to you. i have i a sentence that triggers me as well as some very small things like a name, name of the town/suburb, and a place that i use to love to go but now i cant go there without being triggerred.

[Jupiter]

Hey @Define_normal Sorry to hear that was something you went through and that you are finding yourself with flashbacks and nightmares 

Sometimes our body can react to small triggers in very big ways to protect us and help us survive, even when we are actually safe. I'm sure lots of members will be able to relate, and I'm sure they will jump in when they can. Take good care until then

[Maggie]

@Define_normal  I have a past similar to yours. Also triggers/flashbacks, that send my world spinning. 

I’m not sure if writing things down would be helpful, sometimes I find it is, but not always.

I honestly have no advice to offer, just to let you know,  you are heard and believed. 

Take care.

[BlueBay]

Hi @Define_normal 

I'm sorry thst you had to go through all of this. I do understand and can relate. 
I was sexually abused from age 9-12 by my neighbour, uncle and brother all at different times. 
I still get triggered by either flashbacks nightmares or even smells particularly cigarettes. 
I told my psych and he put me on some meds to reduce the flashbacks to a point thst now I don't get them. They haven't gone forever as every now and then they pop up. 
it's terrible. It freezes me. It scares me and then I sm not well mentally for a few days. 
I can totally understsbd the fear of telling someone about it. For me it's been 10 years since my memories came back and I still struggle. 

I really feel for you. Are you seeing someone professional for support? I'm glad you feel ok  being in here do you csn chat to us. 

happy to chat anytime 

take care xx

[BlueBay]

hugs and love @Maggie   xxoo

[Maggie]

You too @BlueBay  💕💕💕

[Define_normal]

Thank you @Maggie , @BlueBay , @Jupiter and @outlander  for your support and replies, I am seeing my GP next week but I find it difficult to confuse to Drs where I am because the change every 2 weeks and it could be 6+ months before I get to see the same Dr again. That's rural life I guess, but ive tried to get professional help before but apparently the closest one compentent enough to deal with severe childhood trauma is 4hr drive away and I don't drive they don't visit

[outlander]

@Define_normal is there a chance that dr 4 hours away would do telephone consults, or like skype/zoom for your consults rather then you going to see them?

[Define_normal]

@outlander, I get what your saying and good chance they probably do but I don't like doing over the phone or Skype I don't know why just always felt face to face works best