Lived Experience Forum

[Dark_Olena]

Hi,   Not going so well lately. Anxiety and negativity are part of me. I need ways and tools of coping. I have always been extra sensitive. I have 2 good friends I met at the gym 7 years ago. They are still part of my life and we are good for each other. In isolation I can only connect via social media and messenger. One of my 2 friends is losing her son to cancer in the next couple weeks. He is 30, wont make his 31st birthday in June and stopped treatment just after Good Friday. I want to be there for her, but dont know how, it is really affecting me very deeply. I am unable to get good sleep. I wake at 2 and 3 just thinking about the anguish of what they all are feeling and the sheer anxiety of it all. I worry for my own children and my own health.  I've been super stressed head since I was a baby. I want to be a compassionate friend, but I dont know how to do it without it affecting my mental health. I hate anxiety. I've accepted it, but I hate it. I dream of a world with no anxiety. I need to sleep so I can get through the days. The feelings and thoughts are really bad.     thank you 

[NatureLover]

Hi @Dark_Olena ...am sorry to hear how you're feeling and that things are feeling so bad. 

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@Dark_Olena wrote:

I want to be there for her, but dont know how, it is really affecting me very deeply. ... I want to be a compassionate friend, but I dont know how to do it without it affecting my mental health.

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I think just listening is being there for your friend. I don't know how to stop this affecting mental health, except for making sure I take care of myself and not skip my daily steps for wellbeing. Do you have professional supports? Such as a good GP, maybe a psychiatrist or anxiety meds? Meds might also help you to sleep. 

My main tool for coping with anxiety is distraction. But I understand that sometimes people's anxiety is too severe for that. I hope you can get some relief soon. 

[Former-Member]

Hello @Dark_Olena 

Anxiety is the absolute worst. I find myself waking around the same times too and cannot stop the thought train.

At 3am this morning I took a sleep tablet to get through the pain.

I find from time to time it's my last resort when I'm not trusting any process.

Its hard to involve oneself with others when caring for ourselves is also at times, super hard.

You are not alone with these feelings.

Do what you can and leave the rest until you can manage again.

I wish I knew a better answer to help you. Other than I can relate to how you feel.

Distract yourself today with some thought provoking quotes. Even if it's ten minutes. It put something else in your brain for a moment other than anguish. Take care. Thoughts are with you. 🙂❤️

[Jupiter]

@Dark_Olena I can hear you have so much empathy for your friend and her family and are really sharing in her grief 

It sounds like this has also triggered a lot of your own anxiety and worry. It's tricky to navigate being there as a compassionate friend, but also stepping back and looking after your own wellbeing when needed. 

Sitting with you in this...

[Former-Member]

@Dark_Olena I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles. Do you have anything you like doing, if you feel like it? Colouring in? Walking? Writing? Art?