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Something’s not right

Re: When it makes you a bad person

@2qwerty I’m glad you got the message.

 

I’m sorry there was nothing in it that seemed to help. It’s great that you’ve already sought help. I’m sorry it hasn’t seemed worthwhile and you feel so disheartened by your experiences. And yes, Monday’s aren’t my favourite either!

 

Talking with friends/family can also be very effective - and doesn’t cost anything. Same with engaging on forums like this. Whatever works for you. 

 

I felt disheartened by my experiences with my first couple of psychologists, but the third was completely different. She was much, much better (it was all in how we related to each other - her style fit my thinking in ways I’d almost given up on). If you ever change your mind about getting professional help, perhaps try again with someone new? Of course, as with everything, it is up to you. 

 

The “inherently good” idea obviously doesn’t fit for you - and that’s absolutely fine. I just wanted to throw out ideas for you to use or discard as you choose. Discard away!

 

I’m so sorry you feel the way you do atm. Obviously I don’t know what it’s like for you, but I have had long periods of feeling like you describe. I still do. It’s not pleasant. There were times when I felt (and still feel) like the bad stuff will never change. But it has. It does. Over time it eventually improved. Things change - including for the better. You matter, we all do.  

 

A few more different suggestions in case they help. If they don’t, please feel free to ignore them too!

 

I found if I could get absorbed in or distracted by something, that helped get me out of my own head for a bit - and feel better. What do/did you enjoy? What can you get absorbed in / distracted by? Music? Sport (team sport especially can be great)? Coffee with a friend? TV? Reading? Gardening? Walking? Movies? Other physical activity? Joining a community group? 

 

Any physical activity is great from a mental and physical health point of view. It also might let you expend some anger/frustration in a positive way.

 

There are also some good books, apps and YouTube videos which might be worth a try. They can help in ways like: realising other people know what it feels like; explaining why we might have certain feelings; why it might not be our fault (and why we’re not actually bad); and what can help us improve. With a bit of searching / trial and error, hopefully you can find something that suits you. [I’m not sure if suggestions are allowed, but if they are and you’re interested I could make some.]

 

I never thought I could meditate, but it has helped me. Might be worth a try? There are apps that can help get you started. [And don’t worry about being “bad” at it. I’m sure I’m terrible at it - but it still helps.]

 

Most importantly, best wishes and take care. Thinking of you and hoping you feel better soon. 

 

Re: When it makes you a bad person

@Got_the_tshirt 

This is one of the problems I have with help, I always process all of it, realise nothing can help and then eventually drive the friend or resource away by pointing out how it doesn't fit me. I'm different. No one can fix my problems, that makes sense, but I feel I can't, either. 

So, I just end up sharing memes about how life sucks, or sick jokes about it instead. Cause people will "haha" a meme about how I want the world to end and not give it a second thought. 

Things change, but I find those changes to not be positive. Now I have to get invasive testing done, and prioritise that around my work, and I hate both. I didn't even bother to tell my husbsand, which reminds me our relationship is drivel, too. I don't even want to talk to him about it. 

Everything is a sick joke right now. A painful, sick joke. I can't get a break. How can I make the best of it when life keeps beating the ever living sh1t out of me? 

I spend a day alone watching netflix, blanking everything...talking to friends, only to go back to my life, and immediately be exhausted. It stops but then it just picks right back up again, reminding me that life is only getting harder. Distractions are fleeting. 

Re: When it makes you a bad person

@2qwerty  yes distractions are fleeting - temporary respite, but not solutions.

 

I don’t know what you mean by invasive testing, but I hope it goes as well as it can. During my darkest period I had ECT, which is fairly invasive. I wasn’t excited about having it (to say the least!), but it helped a lot. I really hope whatever you’re having helps you 🤞.

 

I’m sorry you’re in a space where everything seems bad. I’ve felt similarly myself - and at times still do. I was also certain things wouldn’t improve. Ever. Regardless of what anyone said - I knew nothing would ever get better. But they did. Sometimes without me even realising straight away that they had. Again, I really hope things get better for you too.

 

It probably won’t feel it, but having already coped with what you have shows you’re incredibly strong and resilient. Keep doing your best. It’s all any of us can ever do.

 

Best wishes and take care,

 

GTT 

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