21-10-2019 08:13 PM
Just wondering if how i feel is okay. The only reasons I dont want to end my life is because I don't want to hurt my family and friends. If these people didnt exist, I feel as though that if my life was to end tomorrow by freak accident or whatever, that I would honestly be okay with that. Does this make me a bad person?
21-10-2019 08:20 PM
@eclipse In my opinion, definitely not a bad person. You obviously care deeply about your family and their feelings. That has to be a good thing.
I have had similar thoughts to yours, many times.
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21-10-2019 08:21 PM
21-10-2019 08:27 PM
Hi there @eclipse
Having thoughts of suicide don't make you a bad person – it sounds like you are being hard on yourself there. Thoughts of suicide are probably more common than we often acknowledge and it's great that concern for your family and friends helps to keep you safe when you are finding it hard to care about your own life. I don't think we've met on the forums beofre and I am going to send you an email in a moment to check in with you that you are indeed safe tonight.
Take care eclipse.
22-10-2019 12:25 PM
There are many reasons that life can get us down. Feeling hopeless about the state of the world and feeling unable to inprove things in our lives can all be a part of despair. It is a big space to accept those feelings but know the difference between acting. It is good to be able to work through those things with a therapist if possible.
22-10-2019 04:54 PM
Thinking of you @eclipse
To me your thoughts show that although you are experiencing deep despair, you can still think of and care for others - definitely not a bad person. There are a lot of us here who have been in that headspace and come through. People who know what it's like would not judge. Try to be kind to yourself. I hope there is someone you can talk to offline too.
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