Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I'm finding things really difficult. Theres just too much happening at once, and very little of it i have any control over. the mental health worker who visits has said its all too much to cope with and nobody could cope with it all but that i just need to put it to the side and focus on day to day stuff... but I cant. I'm physically not well at the moment either, with a silly cold and cough. plus i mangled my shoulder and neck and that just wont settle either. I'm so finding it so hard. I've been honest with my emails to my psychologist, but im so scared about sliding any further down this hole because of family court in a few weeks. plus the independent childrens lawyer will want a review of me as well because my exes claims for why he should have the children is all to do with my mental health. i'm exhausted, and my lil guy is having behavioural problems at kindy (he's always been very busy and anxious/angry) and they're briging up all of that too that its all my fault, and im so scared that it is, even though drs have said that its more likely a response to the trauma from being in a violent house etc..... wish there was a pause button on life... and that i could program myself some sleep and just sleep! 

LJ

[Jacques]

Dearest @Former-Member,

I am so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed, sound like a lot of us have had a tough week.

Please remember you are running at less than half speed, you have the flu, 2 little ones to look after and you are worried about the future.  We can't control the future, what will be, will be.  you need to break the days down into hours, focus on your breathing.

We are all to hard on ourselves, you too.  You are doing a wonderful job with the children, you are a great mum, caring and kind.  All children go through behavioural problems at some stage, you are not the only parent to experiance it, your son's behavoural problems have to do with your ex, not you, please remember it has been a big upheval for you and the children, they are confused and probably don't fully understand what is going on.

You are trying to hard to prove you are a good mum, to us and to the courts, @Former-Member the courts know you are a good mum, they would not have allowed you to be their carer if you where not.  your ex will try anything to get back at you, the courts have experianced this too, they will not fall for it, you are not a danger to the children, and the fact he was found guilty reguardless of anything will go in your favour.

Hang in their @Former-Member, you are doing good, you are a good mum, a lovely kind person, sit with the children tonight, put a movie on and relax, enjoy your childrens company.

Take care, be safe

Jacques

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Jacques, i have no faith left in the courts as everything is just ... unfair. but thats life i suppose.

Love my kidlets so much, and feels like i cant protect them from anything. The news has been really scary this week too, and i instantly imagine those things happening to me and the children. sigh!

LJ

[NikNik]

Hi @Former-Member

I second what @Jacques said. Just being so physically so unwell ON TOP of all the other stuff going on - you have every right to be flat (like a pancake, as you said :)) .

I turly hope the court will see that the horrible things you and your children are experiencing now, was caused by your ex. I'm assuming from what you said about your son's Dr recognising the impact the trauma had on him, that this will be presented at the court.

It's so hard to just focus on what's in front of you, rather than 10 steps ahead - but perhaps being present with us tonight (in Friday Feast ) you can be distracted for a bit.

I just don't know what to say except that you really don't deserve this. You are wonderful and we are a lucky community to have you here.

[Jacques]

Hi @Former-Member,

I have watched the news the past week to, i am so disgusted with men at the moment, please if their is any sign of your ex threatening you please call the police, i don't want anything happening to you.

yes the courts are unfair, justice is truely blind, i know, it never goes the way it is meant to go, but the courts very rarely take the children away from their mothers, you have very little chance of that happening, you are a good mum.  Please tell yourself that when you are feeling down.

[chookmojo]

@Former-Member

So sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment. With everything you have going on and being sick and injured to boot it is no wonder that you are feeling overwhelmed.

I hope you get some comfortand support from the forums and can manage to get some sleep and feel better soon.

[Former-Member]

Thank you everyone, it really helped to write about things on here. Yesterday i took the kids to the beach and had a picnic and loved watching the kids be so happy and it was nice to be outside, somewhere different. but today i woke up so exhausted and so low. almost like there was some hidden cost to enjoying yesterday. I'm so scared of everything that is going to happen this week and i have so much to do. Wish i could just put my hand up and say excuse me.. im not ready yet, can we do this again in a few weeks? (or years?!?) Im also feeling like im going from feeling numb and far away from everything to this overwhelming pain/sadness/lowness. gah! Feel like i've spent the last two years working so hard on 'getting better' on tackling all the issues that i have from all the crap tha happened to me in my life and im still stuck in the pain of it all and never ending 'real' court stuff on top of it all as well. Life is definitely no fairy tale where 'good' wins over 'evil!'... sigh! sorry, feel free to tell me to suck it up and toughen up 

[Mazarita]

Hi @Former-Member. From what I've seen of you over recent months on the forum, your sensitivities also seem related to great qualities, such as kindness, caring, creativity. And your court case is very stressful. If it helps to write out your day to day struggles here - well having an outlet to express these things is part of what the forum is for. We are here for you even if just listening quietly sometimes. At other times finding hopefully encouraging words.

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Mazarita
Today was awful, we found my little boys gunea pig had died last night in the cage, my little girls bunny comes inside at night (and alot when we're home) but out during the day in the hutch... when we got home the rabbit had been let out but we found it under the bushes. I'm not sure if its just a coincidence. sigh! My little boy cried for so long. then he was sooooo angry for the rest of the day. I hope he wakes up happier tomorrow.

[Jacques]

OMG @Former-Member that is terrible, your poor little guy, yes it is hard losing an animal, i had 2 guinea pigs when i was a teenager, it was a sad day when they died, they have such wonderful personalities, i am glad you found the little rabbit, maybe a good lesson for your little guy on the circle of life.

I hope today is a better day for you all. and you managed some rest.

Take care my friend

Jacques