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PocketRocket
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Advice for family members on how to support someone after a dissociative episode

Hello,

 

My husband and I are supporting our son's fiancé (21) who has been experiencing dissociative episodes due to complex childhood trauma. While she is getting professional help, we (and our son, 23) are living in the day-to-day experience of supporting her before, during, and after these episodes. 

 

As they live with us, we have had a trial by fire exposure to the complexities of her trauma and are doing our best to understand and support her. She is working so much on her recovery and feeds back to us how our attempts to support her work or don't work.

So we know that we are doing what we can to manage the ongoing needs of her and our son, but there are times that we just feel inadequate and unsure how to proceed, particularly directly after an episode.

 

We are currently using the first aid steps used for a person having an epileptic seizure (as suggested by a number of organisations providing information on dissociative seizures) and trying to keep tabs on potential triggers and triggering situations to mitigate and minimize further episodes.

 

Are there other steps we can take, especially after an episode, that would be effective in helping her recover faster? I am thinking of things like how to have a 'debrief' kind of conversation, helpful questions to ask, ways to provide practical support (changes in the household environment - no tv, quiet time, etc) and so on.

 

I am trained as a chaplain and have some basic mental health first aid training and knowledge regarding childhood trauma, however, would like more training/knowledge/guidelines to take our knowledge further.

 

I'd be grateful for any ideas, links to support, etc. 

Many thanks in advance!

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Advice for family members on how to support someone after a dissociative episode

Hey @PocketRocket ,

 

I could really only give you ideas and you would need to use your own judgement as to what is the best thing to do. 

 

What does recovery look like by the way? 

 

I have had experience with a person recovering from seizures in the past and the best thing was time. They would wake up disorientated so it was important to put them into a safe place for them, maybe have a favourite movie on the tv, a blanket and a couch so they feel safe as they reorientate themselves.  Focus on the senses, so a certain smell such as having a diffuser burning, maybe background nature noises such as the beach or rainforest.  

 

In the end, each recovery was different.  Some would be less than an hour, and some might take all weekend, but that was what I was experiencing.  I am not sure if yours will be the same. 

 

 

Re: Advice for family members on how to support someone after a dissociative episode

Hello @AussieRecharger ,

 

Thank you for your advice. I like the idea of having a few safe 'go to' options post an episode. She has a number of ways to 'reset' so we might try and tap into these.

 

I think re: recovery - my sense is that as she's learning to accept herself, see herself as a person worth loving, and coming to terms with how she used to manage compared to how she is choosing to now would all be a part of her overall wellness. Perhaps 'recovery' is not the best word? I am not sure, but I think this is what I was trying to convey 🙂 

Re: Advice for family members on how to support someone after a dissociative episode

All good @PocketRocket 

 

Not everything is described in words.. Sometimes the best description is just a sound.  

 

You probably already know this, but if she is looking to accept herself, it's worthwhile asking her what her strengths are and helping her to focus on them.  Those strengths might also focus on resilience from her growing up so focus on reframing the situation if possible.  I.E cooking might have been a conflicting issue in her household growing up. See if you can get her to help you to cook a meal and make it a celebration when she helps outs. If she has strength but it had a negative connotation, make try to bring that strength n a reframed scenario. 

 

Thats about as much help as I can provide I am afraid. 

Re: Advice for family members on how to support someone after a dissociative episode

@PocketRocket I'm wondering if you have spoken to anyone at Blueknot? They specialise in trauma and might have some advice. They have some resources on the website as well. I'll pop the website here. Wishing you all the best.

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