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Number1Trauma
Casual Contributor

Fine To Terminal In A Month

Hi everyone, sorry guys this will be long. I’m 31 years old, and up until a couple of weeks ago, I lived with my Mum & Dad due to my own medical problems. Now it’s just me & Mum at home because 3 weeks ago, what Dad thought was a nagging sore throat, was diagnosed as a malignant cancer that had spread to his lymph nodes. Dad had also been an alcoholic for the past approximately 30 years and now had cirrhosis of the liver as well, which massively complicated things. We were told that there were no curative options for him and that his case was terminal. Their best guess was that he would survive a few months. Unfortunately Dad’s condition declined rapidly as he was unable to eat or drink and he was suffering complications from the cirrhosis, so he had to be admitted to hospital. He was there for a week or so and then came home. However once home he stopped eating and drinking again, and had to go back into hospital. Unfortunately today (or technically yesterday I guess) we got the news that they were going to stop ALL treatment, and I mean all - extra fluids, they weren’t going to feed him, pretty much everything. And he would likely be gone within a couple of weeks. But then later we got even worse news. There was blood coming from the mass in his throat and if they couldn’t stop it, it was possible he could either choke on the blood and die or just pass away in his sleep. So I then had to readjust my thinking from ‘my Dad will probably be gone in 2 weeks’ to ‘he might be gone tomorrow’. And I’m just not sure what to feel at the moment.

6 REPLIES 6

Re: Fine To Terminal In A Month

Hi @Number1Trauma 

 

Thank you for reaching out to the Forums and sharing your story!

 

You are sitting in a really challenging situation and I empathize with how you may be feeling. When you have your own medical problems to deal with and something happens to a loved one it can be overwhelming. Have you spoken to anyone about what you are going through to ease some of the emotional burdens and process your thoughts? We have Counselllors here at SANE in the Support Centre who can guide you through dealing with a traumatic experience.

 

Please do reach out for support if you feel that you need to talk to someone!

 

Take care,

 

RiverSeal

Re: Fine To Terminal In A Month

One feeling at a time.

Re: Fine To Terminal In A Month

Hi @Number1Trauma 

 

Gosh what a tough thing to be going through on top of your own issues. You must be experiencing so many emotions right now and just not knowing what to expect. 

 

I think reaching out to a counsellor as @RiverSeal suggested is a good idea. I think you might need ongoing support during this time. 

 

Sending my best wishes

Hanami

Re: Fine To Terminal In A Month

We just got the devastating that Dad had just passed away. Mum had been to visit him this morning and had just got home when she got the call. They said he went fairly peacefully, with lots of people surrounding him, which is all I could hope for out of this horrible situation. I was asked if I wanted to come and say goodbye to him, but I decided I would rather remember him as he was before he went into hospital then as a sickly dead body.

Re: Fine To Terminal In A Month

Oh @Number1Trauma 

I'm so so sorry to hear this. You must be devastated. No words can help the loss you feel right now so I'll just leave it there. 

Thinking of you

Hanami 

Re: Fine To Terminal In A Month

Thanks @hanami . I know I’ll be ok and get through it, it’s just a bit fresh right now.

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