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Talita
Contributor

How do you tell your Boyfriend he may have a psychosis disorder?

Morning, 

So my boyfriend is In a mental hospital and will be there for another 6 weeks..his denying that he has delusions even though he has paranoia and everyones out to get him.. His highly suspicious of people or high intelligence groups listening in on his conversations and takes daily activities from media and his environment , literally out of context or that it's because of him it's happening.  How can I tell him that all those things his experience isn't real as his had it for almost 10years of his life and his now 40 and still believes it..?  I visit him daily and listen to his delusion stories and he gets upset when I tell him that not true..how can I help him see this? 

5 REPLIES 5

Re: How do you tell your Boyfriend he may have a psychosis disorder?

Good morning @Talita 

Firstly, it sounds like your boyfriend is in the best place to receive the help he needs. Hopefully over the next 6 weeks he improves and his delusions become less and less.

 

Does he recieve any help from a psychologist and/or psychiatrist? Perhaps you could make an appointment with one of them and ask them how you can best deal with his delusions and how to help him in his recovery. Or perhaps you could go to one of his appointments with him.

 

Have you ever thought of ringing a helpline and asking them. These helplines are not only for people with mental illnesses but also people who are supporting them. Lifeline and Sane have good helplines and they might be able to assist you and give you some ideas about what you can do.

 

Well done for being such a supportive person in his life. It seems that you give up a lot for yourself just to support him and be by his side. He is luck to have you. It is also important that you look after yourself too and look after your physical and mental well-being as well.

 

Sorry I haven't got any more ideas. But please know that we are here to support you too. These forums are for carers too so please keep reaching out for help.

 

Hoping your day today goes well

Snowie 😃 

Re: How do you tell your Boyfriend he may have a psychosis disorder?

Hi @Talita, welcome and thank you for reaching out here Heart I understand that it's a difficult position you're in; it's never easy to see someone you really care about struggling.

 

I think the reason your boyfriend is getting upset when you say that his delusions aren't real is that for him, they're the most real thing in the world. It may not be the objective reality of the world, but it's his complete reality of the world. For him to hear that his whole understanding of the world is wrong would be quite distressing, in the same way I'm sure that you or I would be upset if someone said that our fundamental understanding of the world was incorrect.

 

Mental Health First Aid Australia produced this really helpful and comprehensive guide on supporting people experiencing delusions and/or hallucinations. I found it really helpful myself when I did training with them, and I hope it can be helpful for you. 

 

I also hope you have enough support for yourself? It's challenging what you're going through, so make sure you take good care 💗🌻

Re: How do you tell your Boyfriend he may have a psychosis disorder?

@TalitaFrom personal experience, when you're in the thick of delusional thinking it's hard to listen to reason! As you've said getting someone to challenge their beliefs which seem real to them can be like butting your head against a brick wall. It just takes time (let time pass), medication for some/most and support. Sometimes a therapist can help. You can focus on actions your boyfriend can take to improve things instead of discussing delusions i.e. practical tasks to improve his situation now and in the future. Hope this helps.

Re: How do you tell your Boyfriend he may have a psychosis disorder?

Hello @Talita 

 

It can be a terribly difficult position. I have been in similar ones, although everybody isindividual and one cannot really foretell how things will develop.  It is best to leave telling about a diagnosis to the professionals.  I think @Bezak482 's suggestion to focus on the practical is great advice and is what I tried. Avoid getting locked into adversarial conversations about versions of reality, but alxo honour your own views and position in the relationship.  Set some boundaries that respect your own needs.  Maybe walk away when he is too intense or out o9f control with it. Stay kind and STAY SAFE.

Re: How do you tell your Boyfriend he may have a psychosis disorder?

@TalitaSpeaking for myself as one who has suffered schitzoaffectiive disorder and also having a son2 with schizophrenia the worst thing you can do is to say to the patient is that they are delusional, imagining things or are hallucinating etc.Talk to his psychiatrist about how you should talk with your boyfriend. Never say what he is experiencing is not real. Your boyfriend will be very paranoid and frightened and simply will not believe you and you dont want trust between yourselves to be broken. Give him time to get better which could take months and years (in reality - it did for me).

Be patient he will get there if he takes the help on offer which will probably mean medication for the foreseeable future. Look after yourself when you can you must remain strong to be able to cope with his illness. greenpeax

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