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15-09-2021 11:03 PM
15-09-2021 11:03 PM
Re: Introduction
Anyway , sorry @MDT I shouldnt have made connection to you, nothing to do with you, just a few minutes of frustration for me while trying help someone else
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16-09-2021 08:23 PM
16-09-2021 08:23 PM
Re: Introduction
Hi @HenryX
How are you today. Looks like The-Hams and TAB have been here lol. Nothing much to report. Went to the psych today and spent the majority of the session talking about my homework which was just to put together a list of techniques and distractions for when things are hard. Apparantly I did a good job on that. I have just spent a little while beautifying it. Adding colour and pictures for interest. I am going to give a copy of my list to my husband so that he can suggest things for me to do when I am struggling. Usually I just go to bed and sleep. I struggled a lot this past week due to last week's session. We talked a bit more about that today. Apparantly it's not unusual for children to blame themselves and to not tell anybody what has happened especially if the parents are not 100% safe for the child to tell. Logically I can see that my psych is right. That it wasn't my fault, but there is something blocking that knowledge for me. Next week we are just going to go over some relaxation techniques and then we have a week off the following week as my psych is having a week of holidays. Wish I had some news to tell but alas there is nothing going on that's exciting in my life. Hope that you are well. Did you fix your flat tyre yet?
Meggle
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17-09-2021 01:38 PM - edited 17-09-2021 04:38 PM
17-09-2021 01:38 PM - edited 17-09-2021 04:38 PM
Re: Introduction
Hello @Oaktree
Edit: A few additional words added for clarity. 2.30 pm 17 Sept. 21
Good to hear from you, Meg, with your description of the events of the last few days. Today, I am well, thank you. The sun is shining and there has been a little rain. It may, hopefully, be enough to help crops finish well.
Like you, as the counsellor, with whom I am speaking, suggested may occur, during and, in part, because of the the process toward improving our present lives, we sometimes have arise in our mind memories of past events, experiences, treatment by others and by ourselves too. Those recollections, reflections and thoughts can be unsettling. We often, during this process, go through, sometimes, pleasant and sometimes, what we would now, in retrospect, believe to be unpleasant recollections of thoughts, feelings, events and experiences, that cause us some pain, regret, even shame and embarrassment.
These occurrences are normally associated with blockages in our current lives and, I believe, that we only need to deal with the ones that are effecting our immediate and present life. In fact to worry about anything other than what causes dysfunction in our current lives, I think, wastes our emotional and physical energy. However, we need to be sure that we are adequately addressing, and not attempting to, inappropriately, put aside any relevant issues or events.
For my part, I am pleased that you are continuing your discussions (therapy) with the psychologist. And, even more so, that you are inviting your husband to be part of the process, to the extent that you wish to include, or inform him of any concerns that exist for you.
The techniques and distractions list, that you are preparing, sounds like a good idea. I have read of others using those sorts of self-support ideas.
In the last few notes, I have alluded to apportioning blame, responsibility and other issues, such as the ideas of due care, exercised by ourselves and others. I have referred to the fact that we need to accept some responsibility, in order to be able to forgive ourselves, for our part in any past activity or event. However, that does not mean that we should necessarily shoulder complete responsibility for any and all events in our past.
I understand, for reasons of uncertainty about the gravity or seriousness of events, concern about parental or guardian's reactions, and questions about our own level of responsibility, that children do not confide in parents, teachers or guardians. Children often feel that they have no-one in whom they may safely confide, any concerns about their thoughts, feelings and actions.
Sometimes, blockages can occur, if we do not allow ourselves, at least, some small portion of responsibility, for which we can give ourselves that necessary forgiveness. I really do not think that it is productive, for our own development and progress, to throw full responsibility on others, retaining no portion of responsibility ourselves, for which we can personally accept our own forgiveness, to and for ourselves.
Responsibility and culpability is really not an issue or situation where “all or nothing situation” or "black or white" separation should, I believe, should be applied. That is why I have used the word “apportioning”.
We also need to recognise the limited capacity of a child, according to their age, for culpability. This comes back to the three criteria, gravity or seriousness, consent and knowledge. As a child, we have limited capacity for each of those criteria to be met. So while there may exist an element of culpability to be accepted by a child, it is very definitely limited. Yet, even acknowledging that limited degree of culpability can be very releasing and freeing for ourselves. We cannot attribute a level of culpability to a child, in specific circumstances, that we would attribute to an adult in similar circumstances. This is where, as an adult, we may sometimes “post-judge” ourselves, for actions and experiences in childhood, against criteria that we fully understand as an adult, that we could not possibly have understood as a child.
I also believe that it is necessary to identify the differences between emotions that we feel, at any given time. I have described how I was in my 20's before I became aware of the difference between thoughts and feelings. That may seem really strange to people who have been accustomed, since childhood, to expressing their feelings and describing their thoughts. It is equally important to understand the difference between different feelings, such as shame and embarrassment. Unless we understand the difference, we can unjustly beat ourselves up for some event or situation in which we might, subsequently, be confusing one emotion with another.
The tyre is not yet repaired but I plan to do it today. I have had a fairly active week, with meetings and other activities. I have also done a bit of walking which suffices for exercise, in lieu of the bike. However, the bike will be more effective for exercise, because I can ride further and for longer than I am able to walk. In the past, such a simple job, as repairing a bicycle tyre, would not have been a problem. However, at present, it is difficult, though important.
For Now
My Best Wishes
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17-09-2021 06:33 PM
17-09-2021 06:33 PM
Re: Introduction
Hi @HenryX
Sorry to hear that your bicycle tyre is not mended yet. It can be a hassle getting those sorts of jobs done. It will be great though when you are out free-wheeling and feeling the wind in your face on your bike. I took my USB to my psychologist today as they offered to print out my homework in colour so I took the opportunity to also include a letter about some of my thoughts and feelings. They read that while doing the printing and the feed back that I received was that it was very well written and very insightful. Not sure if that is what I was going for but I guess we will probably discuss it more next week in session. My Church is throwing a barn dance tonight so I think I will go to that. My daughter has said that she will come along although I don't think my husband is at all interested. He will probably stay home.
Meggle
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17-09-2021 08:07 PM - edited 18-09-2021 01:07 AM
17-09-2021 08:07 PM - edited 18-09-2021 01:07 AM
Re: Introduction
Hello @Oaktree
Hi Meg, Yes the bicycle will get fixed soon? Your description of the wind in the face on the bike was refreshing and an added stimulus to getting moving. I did make some progress yesterday in assembling a brush-cutter that I had purchased some time ago. So using that will give me some exercise, I hope. If I can handle it, I may try to do some lawn-mowing jobs that will serve two purposes, add a little income and give me some extra people time.
Pleased that your interaction with the psych and clinic seems to be on a more even keel. I like both the “well written” and “insightful” comments. You would not be likely to receive any more feedback outside the session time, but that sounds like good feedback to me. If you received comments like “We would like like to see more of........”, I might be concerned.
I envy the barn dance activity. In Geraldton, I used to go to a square dancing group of about 60 to 80 people. I really enjoyed that. We used to go to different towns for weekends of activity and dancing. Most enjoyable.
About an hour ago, and with a few updates and edits, I posted a comment on the “Worry Room.....” thread with my thoughts about interactions between people on the thread and the forum. You may find it interesting reading.
I do spend a lot of time on the computer, and despite my increasing typing speed, posts and responses often take quite a lot of time to prepare and write. However, I am selective about the threads on which, and the people with whom I correspond.
Best Wishes, Meg
@HenryX
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18-09-2021 12:42 AM
18-09-2021 12:42 AM
Re: Introduction
Well @HenryX
I am honoured and touched that you continue to choose to correspond with me. I have been on a bit of a downward spiral lately so have been a bit quiet. Nothing much happening my end. The barn dance activity was so fun and I did a lot of socialising. There were tons of toffee apples and packages of popcorn for all the kids and adults alike. I even got to bring a toffee apple home with me to enjoy over the weekend. After the activity we stayed and helped with the clean up. It was our wards' turn to clean the chapel so we just did it all tonight rather than having to front up again early tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning actually I am going to go shopping with my friend. She unexpectedly rang me today to invite me so I need to be there by 8:30am. She lives approximately a 40 minute drive away. I love spending time with her but I don't get the opportunity very often as she is crazy busy. Love to you and I hope that you continue to be well. Thinking of you and sending warm wishes your way.
Meggle
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21-09-2021 01:25 AM
21-09-2021 01:25 AM
Re: Introduction
Hello @Oaktree
Just dropping you a note to let you know that I am around. Friday last week you wrote a note. Thank you. I appreciate the sentiments that you expressed.
I hope that your shopping trip with your friend, on Saturday, was enjoyable and refreshing.
You did say that you have been feeling a bit low.
Certainly agree that its better to take an hour or so after the dance and clean the chapel at the same time. Saves having to allocate double the time, for possibly fewer people, the next day.
Today I went to Geraldton for the 1st dose of the Pfizer vaccine. That was at about 2.00pm. Arm is a bit tender now just after 11.00pm. Got a few bits and pieces at Bunnings, while over there. Also stopped to wish my friend in Dongara a happy birthday. Always good to catch up with her. We have been friends for about 30 years.
Went to the usual Saturday gathering, which was interesting. Although the couple know that I am not alligned with some of their beliefs, we do have similar fundamental beliefs about how we live our lives. As a result, we get along really well and it is a pleasure to share time with them. Our discussions are generally interesting and sometimes challenging.
Nearly 11.30pm
Best Wishes For Now, Meg
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21-09-2021 10:40 AM
21-09-2021 10:40 AM
Re: Introduction
Hi @HenryX
Hopefully a sore arm is all you will experience from your Covid jab. Hubby and I were lucky with ours but we both got AZ. My daughter had pfizer with no issues. Glad to hear you put the trip to good use. I am also glad that you got to see your friend for her birthday. I signed up for One Foot Forward in October. It's a walk for Mental Health and benefits the Black Dog Institute. I did it last year which was their first year so I am a founding member. I just signed up yesterday and have already been lucky to raise around $165. Quite a bit of that from strangers on the One Foot Forward Facebook page. It is nice to be able to hang out with friends that you are mostly aligned with isn't it? I had a nice time shopping with my friend and I bought two new games to play with my daughter. Mastermind, which you may have played before, and bananagrams. Both games are thinking games and both are fun. I hope that you are well.
Meggle
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22-09-2021 01:21 AM - edited 22-09-2021 06:28 PM
22-09-2021 01:21 AM - edited 22-09-2021 06:28 PM
Re: Introduction
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22-09-2021 01:43 PM
22-09-2021 01:43 PM
Re: Introduction
Hello @Meggle
Hoping that you and your family are all well.
The outcome of the vaccination was a sore arm, which is not sore today, a mild headache, and some soreness in the stomach, all of which has reduced or disappeared today. I had all the vaccinations, about 6, for a study trip that I intended taking, to Cambodia, before the virus, and had less symptoms from any of those than I have had with the Pfizer co-VAX, that being the one that I was offered.
Yes, even with the vaccination, it was a pleasant day. I try to make the trip more productive by combining extra tasks and, or purchases. Seeing my friend for her birthday was an added source of enjoyment.
Congratulations for raising the funds for One Foot Forward and Black Dog Institute. Best wishes and success for the continuing period of fund raising.
Very pleased that you had an enjoyable day with your friend and that you were able to make some purchases by which you and your daughter can enjoy each others company.
This note is a bit more sociable than my last. I like to separate different types and styles of message so that one does not interfere with the message or context of the other.
With My Best Wishes, Meg