Lived Experience Forum

[I_matter]

Hi. I am new to this group, I'm not even sure if I am in the right place as I have not been diagnosed with a complex mental health issue. However, i am seeing my doctor tomorrow as I have been feeling so unhappy for the past couple of years. It has something to do with work and meaningful relationship, or lack of it. I have been working for a company for almost 14 years and up to 2-3 years ago, I felt like I mattered to both management and to my co-workers. Then we had a change of managers and I now feel like I don't matter at all. A lot of duties that I used to do have now been taken from me by a new and younger supervisor. Even some of the co-workers who used to come to me for assistance do not even acknowledge me now. I have been thinking of applying for a different job but I am worried that I won't be able to get a job as stable as the one I have now. Another thing that is making me so unhappy is the lack of meaningful relationship in my life. I got divorced nearly 10 years ago and that has made it hard for me to trust anyone. I don't really want to be in a relationship but I get so lonely sometimes. I also don't have any close friends that I talk to or go out with regularly. I used to say all I needed was my children. But now that they're grown up and have their own partners, they don't even worry about me. They don't message or call me regularly. They catch up with their friends more often than they catch up with me. All I have at hone is an old dog who is getting sickly every passing day and will probably "leave" me soon, too. I feel like I need something that will give me a feeling of importance, that I matter. I hope someone who had a similar issue like what I'm having now can give me some advice on how to get back the feeling of being worthy. 

[Mazarita]

Welcome to the forum, @I_matter 

It's fine that you are not diagnosed, others here are the same. 

What you have said makes it clear you are feeling unhappy about work and loneliness. I feel for you. I have had feelings like that before, especially questioning the meaning and purpose of my life, and was divorced over 20 years ago. It was different to your situation but maybe some similar feelings at times.

Seeing the GP sounds very good. You may be interested and could mention the Medicare subsidised psychologist scheme, which allows us at least 10 appointments in a 12 month period.

https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/mental-health-care-plan

Well wishes.

[Former-Member]

Hi, I'm new here too so rather than solutions all I can offer is the solidarity someone who has similar feelings. I have been feeling worthless lately, like I have nothing left to contribute and the world doesn't really need me anymore. I'm still married but my husband works all the time so I also feel very lonely at home and we moved just before the plague so I don't know anyone near me. My dog is my main source of comfort. I watch him sleeping to try to calm down when I have panic attacks. It is so easy to feel disconnected even when we have people in our lives I wonder how 'normals' make it look so effortless.

My only observation of your post is that you seem to know what you want/need to do about work but are too scared of work conditions to make the leap. Is there any practical step you could take to help secure the kind of employment you need? Maybe a short course or training program would be a way to meet people and improve your work situation. Just a random thought.

Best of luck with things.

[frog]

Hi @I_matter and welcome to the forum.

Your post is very relatable. Particularly on the work front, I also struggle to feel like I matter. The organisation is disregarding/disgarding many of the people I've worked with for a long time. I feel sidelined, and much grief and fear over it, for myself and others. I'm very sorry that you are experiencing something similar. I am trying to position myself for different work so that I give myself a chance at exercising choice in the situation... volunteering in a different domain. I feel stuck tbh.

Re relationships, I find them so complex. After my husband of nearly 19 years left I also found trust in others pretty much impossible. And, I couldn't trust myself. I felt like I'd misjudged the whole situation in throwing everything I had into marriage and family only to have it collapse. I don't have answers on that front, but I do know that I slowly rebuilt my trust in myself. It's a work in progress. and always will be but I think it might contribute to me being a bit more open with people and making a few connections. The forum helped build my confidence with this.

I really hope your gp can help. I have a complex mental illness and, although it has taken a long time, have a good support team - gp, psychologist and psychiatrist.

Regarding whether you're in the right place, I'd say if it helps to connect here then you are! Take care.

[I_matter]

Thank you so much for your advice. I talked to my gp today and she has started the ball rolling. Important things I need to do are "be open" to trying different things and see what will work and to have the motivation to actually do things that would help me. 

[I_matter]

Thank you @frog. Opening up about how I feel in this forum is helping. I don’t need to worry about judgmental people or that they might nit understand what I am going through.

[I_matter]

Thank you @Former-Member. I am going to take the advice that I’ve been given about doing my best to motivate myself and being open to different things.

[I_matter]

Thank you @Mazarita. My gp has given me different websites that I can visit and courses that I can do to help me while the mental health program is being processed.