Yes, it was simply put and there are other many intertwined issues which which include but are not limited to selfishness, power and greed, once again on a continuum. I quote Dr Tim Jennings "Love can only exist in an atmosphere of freedom. Violate freedoms in relationships and three predictable and damaging consequences will occur.
- Love is damaged and eventually destroyed.
- Rebellion (desire to break away and get free) is incited
- Individuality of the one dominated will be eroded and eventually destroyed if the violations do not end."
Yes, I believe that it was not until I faced the reality of our situation and stated the obvious as you put it, that I was then able to come to terms with what had happened and get on with life.
Mr Darcy showed mild anxiety/ OCD symptoms, starting with one and then adding to it, has a collection happening 😵 all of which individually are not adequate enough for a true OCD diagnosis (to use the word of the monent - above normal on the "continuum"). In his 20s it started with lining things up, in his 30s added hand washing, in his 40s word pronunciation and in his 50s what he refers to as 'flashbacks' concern over seemingly benign things like dropping (+ scattering contents of) a bag of peanuts in a shopping centre and getting the car bogged in an unsealed driveway in the 1980s but are possibly a reflection of deeper issues.
In his early 40s things went down hill with a possible trigger subsequently identified. he had one episode of going AWOL - 2 days/ 1 night. After this he started therapy. In his late 40s he was started on meds and became hypomanic. We moved interstate as he was keen to do so. A couple of years on, In his early 50s he became more acute going walkabout a few times, in between the docs were upping doses, adding or changing meds. Despite this he became increasingly suicidal and delusional /psychotic. He was acute for a couple of years and an attempt in his mid 50s resulted in a long hospital stay. At the time on the advice of a pdoc I looked things up, reported things I did not know were symptoms and that is when BP ii was included in the list of "diagnosis hypothses" which included cluster B/C personality traits, MDD and GAD. Since being on BP meds he has been stable with mood and that diagnosis has remained. He is still anxious and has an ongoing medical issue relating to his attempt.
When looking things I came across a website thay gave me hope uniCorny, it spoke about living well in spite of a diagnosis. When I faced reality and activated appropriate responses, things changed. We now have a good system in place and with a bit of support from myself Mr Darcy has been managing quite well. We are now in transition and setting up new supports with our move ... hoping these will be adequate and Mr Darcy will remain in remission from the more debilitating symptoms.
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