@greenpea I dont always know when i am manic at first normally it will be when i see a look on someone face that they think i am being intense and then i will be like "oh crap better stop talking and just talk in my head" but mostly i am just hyper aware of others and then i compare that to myself to know if what i am doing doesnt fit in this group but there are things I cant control as well but if that starts happening i normally leave to go be alone so i can go "crazy" by myself.
I am sorry you dont feel like yourself that is one thing i hated about meds they made me feel not like me and I asked about that before they said i had to start the meds and they SWORE to me that no they would not change who you are, and again like all their other lies it did change me so i am sorry you cant feel like yourself because it is awfully uncomfortable. if you could pick something to get back or to change or to have for yourself what would be the thing you wanted the most? or things you can have more than one. sometimes i want to start a like club where people can go and be themselves and act weird or odd and not have to hide things while being with others (so long as it doesnt hurt anyone) because i often think something like that would be very liberating to not be shamed and corrected for being different.....
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