the last few weeks has been so intense and now my mood has been so up and down it does a complete flip every few hours and then mixed in with that I keep having weird/intense magical types of thoughts and urges to go and run around in the wild and explor all night. i know this could have been made worse by all the stress but idk how to get back to balancing i feel like in my ongoing tug-of-war game there is a certain side winning at the moment and i prefer to be on the line where no side "has me". but then i think maybe it is because of something i did and i keep getting scared then. I am trying to keep it together i really am but it is getting very hard the last few days have been so intense. I feel very shaky.
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